6 ms·

Growing up in NYC I walked home alone, took the subway to meet friends, walked around all of manhattan a million times, etc. Most of that started around age 13-

Growing up in NYC I walked home alone, took the subway to meet friends, walked around all of manhattan a million times, etc. Most of that started around age 13-14, and as a preteen I would have my slightly older sister along with me. At 15 I started to bike everywhere. I took my bike to the Hudson river path and I could get anywhere I wanted in 10-20 minutes - visiting a friend who lived downtown, or head up to Central Park to meet up and bike around with others, try out some diners uptown, etc. At 16 my friends and I would walk around the east side, walking for miles in the middle of the night. I don't think it was negligent at all, but I felt extremely independent because I could get anywhere as a kid without needing a car. I've always found that growing up in a city that felt safe and had great public transportation made me extremely independent at an early age.

woodruffw 6y ago
For even more context to this: when you're a child in NYC, the public school system gives you a free MetroCard as soon as you start elementary school. They're meant to be for commuting, but they have a small enough eligibility radius and extra rides to make them generally useful. Once I got one (I was maybe 8 or 9) I was more or less independent, as were all of my childhood friends. This is in stark contrast to people I befriended in college, who were (1) largely reliant on their parents for socialization and exploration until they were old enough to drive, and (2) incapable of handling the general mishegass that happens in urban environments without me as their tour guide. This doesn't make them bad people or dependent in some profoundly handicapping way; it just goes to show that a frontiersman's notion of "independence" is perhaps not the most interesting one in 2020.
- staticassertion 6y ago
  Oh hell yeah. Those cards were like little slices of plastic magic. Every once in a while someone would lose one, or claim to lose it, and you could snag the extra and get yourself anywhere from an extra 3 to 6 rides, and with free transfers that basically meant you could be anywhere any time for free. I went to school upstate and it was impossible to get around without a car. Everyone was totally reliant on them, and I guess as kids you were always beholden to whoever was licensed/ had a car. To me that's insane, we could get anywhere for free, whenever.
  - woodruffw 6y ago
    Yep! I seem to recall the MetroCards claiming to only have three daily rides on them, but actually working at least four or five times (presumably as a margin of error/safety for lost kids). I used mine more than once to ditch school and take the D out to Coney Island :-)
- PaulDavisThe1st 6y ago
  Two of my kids got to see the before/after of this sort of thing when we took them to Berlin for a semester (I was guest lecturing at the TU). Since they had to take the S/U-Bahn to get to school, we got them monthly passes that let them go anywhere, anytime "for free". For a 14 and 17 year old, I think it seemed like heaven. The older one would go to nightclubs and come home at 03:00 and we weren't worried about drunk driving etc. The younger one could explore the whole city (hello, Dolores Burritos!) with her friends, or go to Idea to get art supplies, without us. Getting back to Philadelphia where everything collapsed back to "Dad, can you drive me to ..." was depressing for everyone I think.
- lioeters 6y ago
  A curious word I'd never heard before: meshugaas - noun (slang): Crazy or senseless activity and behavior
marcinzm 6y ago
Same. I bicycled around my neighborhood with friends when I was I think 10 without any real oversight. I'm guessing some adults kept watch either outside or from windows when we played on our block but we could roam further out on our own.
moron4hire 6y ago
Yeah, but you had to grow up in a constant cloud of pee smell . It amazes me how much this doesn't seem to bother people. New York smells like pee. Everywhere. I've only been a few times, but it has always smelled like pee. I don't feel like "all three times I went, everywhere smelled like pee" really deserves anymore chances when no other place I have ever visited or lived has ever smelled like pee, with the exception of a dirty horse barn. Is all of New York a dirty horse barn? Maybe New Yorkers just like it? I mean, it has to be that. Because nothing in New York is all that great, such that you'd put up with the constant smell of pee. Certainly not the pizza.
- woodruffw 6y ago
  I'll have you know that Central Park smells like manure, not pee. The rest of the city smells like hot trash, but only in the summer ;) Joking aside: NYC has a lot of smells, but human urine isn't actually one I pick up all that often (except for sometimes in the subway). As for why anybody would live here: it's one (maybe the most important) of the world's cultural nexuses, as well as the most thoroughly developed urban environment in the United States. Those are sufficient draws for many people.
  - staticassertion 6y ago
    I mean there are a billion reasons to live there, and I don't even live there anymore. Amazing museums, public transportations, entertainment, restaurants, and parks are some of the universal ones. If you're lucky enough to be well off you then gain access to some other amazing things, such as some top tier private schools.
  - SV_BubbleTime 6y ago
    Last time I hung out in Chelsea I was surprised at how tolerant the residents were of the trash stacked on the street in the heat of the summer. I was staying at a small “normal” place that I’m sure was a least 2 million dollars, and it was, just odd how this amount of trash everywhere was normal. Still love to visit NYC though.
    - 6y ago
asdff 6y ago
What advice do you have for raising a kid in a city in this day and age? My biggest concern is all the addicts in my city. Some 60k live on the street, certainly many are working and are invisible, but the most visible of the unhoused are certainly concerning and have put myself on edge a few times riding pubic transportation, being personally accosted, watching fights break out over nothing due to someone being mentally unstable making eye contact with another person, seeing knives pulled on the train and being trapped in the car until the next station. I worry that if I let my child out and about unsupervised like this that they would be targeted as an easy mark for what little they happen to carry on them by desperate people looking to feed their addiction, because I know adults who've experienced this simply due to appearing vulnerable and alone. The kids I do see on public transit and on the sidewalk are typically shuttled around by their grandparents, or in a pack with a half dozen other kids. Maybe I'll teach them to use my skateboard so they'd at least have a blunt object like I do when I am out and about by myself on transit.
- xmprt 6y ago
  I don't know if I trust SF or LA if those are the cities you're talking about. NYC has been a much safer city in comparison since the start.
- staticassertion 6y ago
  I don't know about your city, so it depends. I wouldn't feel the same way I did in SF, for example. In NYC you learn quickly what's safe and what's not. I was taught that, at a very early age. You learn how to spot the difference between someone who's homeless and someone who's dangerous. You learn to be aware of your surroundings, you learn to duck into places like shops if you think someone is following you, etc. It sounds awful listing it out like that, but those were just what we learned growing up. It was just how we took care of ourselves.

woodruffw 6y ago

For even more context to this: when you're a child in NYC, the public school system gives you a free MetroCard as soon as you start elementary school. They're meant to be for commuting, but they have a small enough eligibility radius and extra rides to make them generally useful. Once I got one (I was maybe 8 or 9) I was more or less independent, as were all of my childhood friends. This is in stark contrast to people I befriended in college, who were (1) largely reliant on their parents for socialization and exploration until they were old enough to drive, and (2) incapable of handling the general mishegass that happens in urban environments without me as their tour guide. This doesn't make them bad people or dependent in some profoundly handicapping way; it just goes to show that a frontiersman's notion of "independence" is perhaps not the most interesting one in 2020.

staticassertion 6y ago
Oh hell yeah. Those cards were like little slices of plastic magic. Every once in a while someone would lose one, or claim to lose it, and you could snag the extra and get yourself anywhere from an extra 3 to 6 rides, and with free transfers that basically meant you could be anywhere any time for free. I went to school upstate and it was impossible to get around without a car. Everyone was totally reliant on them, and I guess as kids you were always beholden to whoever was licensed/ had a car. To me that's insane, we could get anywhere for free, whenever.
- woodruffw 6y ago
  Yep! I seem to recall the MetroCards claiming to only have three daily rides on them, but actually working at least four or five times (presumably as a margin of error/safety for lost kids). I used mine more than once to ditch school and take the D out to Coney Island :-)
PaulDavisThe1st 6y ago
Two of my kids got to see the before/after of this sort of thing when we took them to Berlin for a semester (I was guest lecturing at the TU). Since they had to take the S/U-Bahn to get to school, we got them monthly passes that let them go anywhere, anytime "for free". For a 14 and 17 year old, I think it seemed like heaven. The older one would go to nightclubs and come home at 03:00 and we weren't worried about drunk driving etc. The younger one could explore the whole city (hello, Dolores Burritos!) with her friends, or go to Idea to get art supplies, without us. Getting back to Philadelphia where everything collapsed back to "Dad, can you drive me to ..." was depressing for everyone I think.
lioeters 6y ago
A curious word I'd never heard before: meshugaas - noun (slang): Crazy or senseless activity and behavior

marcinzm 6y ago

Same. I bicycled around my neighborhood with friends when I was I think 10 without any real oversight. I'm guessing some adults kept watch either outside or from windows when we played on our block but we could roam further out on our own.

moron4hire 6y ago

Yeah, but you had to grow up in a constant cloud of pee smell . It amazes me how much this doesn't seem to bother people. New York smells like pee. Everywhere. I've only been a few times, but it has always smelled like pee. I don't feel like "all three times I went, everywhere smelled like pee" really deserves anymore chances when no other place I have ever visited or lived has ever smelled like pee, with the exception of a dirty horse barn. Is all of New York a dirty horse barn? Maybe New Yorkers just like it? I mean, it has to be that. Because nothing in New York is all that great, such that you'd put up with the constant smell of pee. Certainly not the pizza.

woodruffw 6y ago
I'll have you know that Central Park smells like manure, not pee. The rest of the city smells like hot trash, but only in the summer ;) Joking aside: NYC has a lot of smells, but human urine isn't actually one I pick up all that often (except for sometimes in the subway). As for why anybody would live here: it's one (maybe the most important) of the world's cultural nexuses, as well as the most thoroughly developed urban environment in the United States. Those are sufficient draws for many people.
- staticassertion 6y ago
  I mean there are a billion reasons to live there, and I don't even live there anymore. Amazing museums, public transportations, entertainment, restaurants, and parks are some of the universal ones. If you're lucky enough to be well off you then gain access to some other amazing things, such as some top tier private schools.
- SV_BubbleTime 6y ago
  Last time I hung out in Chelsea I was surprised at how tolerant the residents were of the trash stacked on the street in the heat of the summer. I was staying at a small “normal” place that I’m sure was a least 2 million dollars, and it was, just odd how this amount of trash everywhere was normal. Still love to visit NYC though.
  - 6y ago

asdff 6y ago

What advice do you have for raising a kid in a city in this day and age? My biggest concern is all the addicts in my city. Some 60k live on the street, certainly many are working and are invisible, but the most visible of the unhoused are certainly concerning and have put myself on edge a few times riding pubic transportation, being personally accosted, watching fights break out over nothing due to someone being mentally unstable making eye contact with another person, seeing knives pulled on the train and being trapped in the car until the next station. I worry that if I let my child out and about unsupervised like this that they would be targeted as an easy mark for what little they happen to carry on them by desperate people looking to feed their addiction, because I know adults who've experienced this simply due to appearing vulnerable and alone. The kids I do see on public transit and on the sidewalk are typically shuttled around by their grandparents, or in a pack with a half dozen other kids. Maybe I'll teach them to use my skateboard so they'd at least have a blunt object like I do when I am out and about by myself on transit.

xmprt 6y ago
I don't know if I trust SF or LA if those are the cities you're talking about. NYC has been a much safer city in comparison since the start.
staticassertion 6y ago
I don't know about your city, so it depends. I wouldn't feel the same way I did in SF, for example. In NYC you learn quickly what's safe and what's not. I was taught that, at a very early age. You learn how to spot the difference between someone who's homeless and someone who's dangerous. You learn to be aware of your surroundings, you learn to duck into places like shops if you think someone is following you, etc. It sounds awful listing it out like that, but those were just what we learned growing up. It was just how we took care of ourselves.