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I began to hate it less when I remembered a little empathy game that has served me well. The question is not, "when I leave the bathroom, is everyone looking at

I began to hate it less when I remembered a little empathy game that has served me well. The question is not, "when I leave the bathroom, is everyone looking at me and judging me for having used it?" Rather, the question is, "when I see someone else leave the bathroom, do I think about it for more than a fraction of a second, and if I knew they had defecated, would I want to shame or embarrass them for it at all?" The answer to the latter, if you are not a horrible person, is of course not. You don't really care, it's not your problem, you're not keeping track of it, it's just an event you forget moments later. Probably, then, that's what your coworkers think of you, when you go; so stop caring, because they definitely don't. (If anyone ever were to metaphorically give me shit for using the bathroom, I'd turn it around on them in a heartbeat, too. It's so easy - just ask, what kind of creep cares about their coworker's bodily functions to this extent? Gross, weird!)

leetcrew 6y ago
> I began to hate it less when I remembered a little empathy game that has served me well. The question is not, "when I leave the bathroom, is everyone looking at me and judging me for having used it?" Rather, the question is, "when I see someone else leave the bathroom, do I think about it for more than a fraction of a second, and if I knew they had defecated, would I want to shame or embarrass them for it at all?" before WFH, I worked at a desk in an open floorplan. for whatever reason, it gives me a constant low level of anxiety to be in an environment where lots of people can see me, especially if I can't easily tell when people are actually looking. so I used to go to the bathroom a bit more often than I really needed, just so I could spend a few minutes in a more private space. I personally don't care, but I certainly do notice which of my coworkers also seem to be frequent users of the bathroom. if I were a pointy-haired boss, that might be one of the data points used to assemble my list of slackers.
- core-questions 6y ago
  Well, you're paying too much attention to what other people are doing, even if you don't ostensibly care.
  - leetcrew 6y ago
    probably true, but your empathy game only holds insofar as people like me are rare.

leetcrew 6y ago

> I began to hate it less when I remembered a little empathy game that has served me well. The question is not, "when I leave the bathroom, is everyone looking at me and judging me for having used it?" Rather, the question is, "when I see someone else leave the bathroom, do I think about it for more than a fraction of a second, and if I knew they had defecated, would I want to shame or embarrass them for it at all?" before WFH, I worked at a desk in an open floorplan. for whatever reason, it gives me a constant low level of anxiety to be in an environment where lots of people can see me, especially if I can't easily tell when people are actually looking. so I used to go to the bathroom a bit more often than I really needed, just so I could spend a few minutes in a more private space. I personally don't care, but I certainly do notice which of my coworkers also seem to be frequent users of the bathroom. if I were a pointy-haired boss, that might be one of the data points used to assemble my list of slackers.

core-questions 6y ago
Well, you're paying too much attention to what other people are doing, even if you don't ostensibly care.
- leetcrew 6y ago
  probably true, but your empathy game only holds insofar as people like me are rare.