So, I wrote a comment almost identical to yours, but here's some thing I think get lost from that perspective. > That's not a passive thing happening to someon

So, I wrote a comment almost identical to yours, but here's some thing I think get lost from that perspective. > That's not a passive thing happening to someone, it's something that people actively act like. The way we act IMO is not a choice. Very few people would actively choose to be uncharismatic, since it would be almost purely negative. Same with intelligence, athletics, music, ect. some people are geniuses, some people have learning disabilities, and there's gray area in between. The "incel" tendency to blame it on a birth defect is dangerous and toxic, but it's also wrong to act like people are actively deciding to do these things, and are to blame for being bad at something that comes naturally to most people. It would be like blaming a dyslexic kid for being unable to read, and telling them it's their fault they don't just read like the rest of us. Grow up and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. > Nerds never did well in school because they're often smug as hell, think they're the brainy protagonist of some sort of TV show envied by everyone else, but in reality not even that clever I agree, but this ignores how tolerant people are of obnoxious personalities. I've met plenty of "cool" people that are just the worst. I simply do not understand the appeal and are 10,000x the shithead the nerds are. Sometime it's baffling how they even have friends, they're so toxic, and actively harmful to be around. I get it if the person is so charming, but often times they're clearly not. That person is a toxic asshole, but nobody cares... of course we know over time less people will stick around them; yet it's still somehow a better bet than acting a bit nerdy.