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Past comments: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24439612 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24439612

• selestify 6y ago
  To comment on the top comment: how do you know if it’s self-acceptance or learned helplessness?
  • IggleSniggle 6y ago
    The self-acceptance talked about there is about recognizing where you are and forgiving yourself for mistakes. You could have learned helplessness, but that’s not a reason to attack yourself; it’s counter productive to the remedy.
  • sonofhans 6y ago
    I’ve found myself asking the same question, particularly from the perspective of learned helplessness. Having experienced now some modest amount of self-acceptance, I’ve found that one good marker of it is empowerment. Do you feel like you’re standing on a reliable foundation, and able to exert some leverage to achieve your goals? Or do you feel that you’re best off not striving? Those look like two opposite ends of a spectrum to me. For me, self-acceptance leads directly to empowerment. I feel like my goals are legitimate and worthy of effort. It feels like the energy I might otherwise direct at inward discontent is free instead for other things. Helplessness feels inert. I feel ok not striving for my [unachievable] goals. Consider reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. It’s written exactly for this.