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> have no interest/ability for social posturing I'm not sure why your reaction to this advice is that it's posturing. In any work environment, whether in pers

> have no interest/ability for social posturing I'm not sure why your reaction to this advice is that it's posturing. In any work environment, whether in person or remote, you're going to benefit from building relationships with the people you work with. This happens more naturally in person because conversations start 'automatically' e.g. around the watercooler, and the content that fills those conversations is the exchange of information and opinions that builds relationships. The challenge with remote is that there is no automatic way for those conversations to start. Instead you have to consciously plan them, but the content of the conversation should be as natural as it would be otherwise. There is some cynicism in that you'll benefit from actively building a relationship with the seniors and maybe you put more work in to that than would come naturally but that is again exactly as true in person as remotely.

necheffa 6y ago
They probably called it "posturing" because it is entirely synthetic. No one really cares about the game last night or whatever other nonsense there is. It is all just hollow talk to fill what might be considered "awkward silence" by some. I'm willing to bet some high percentage of "watercooler" friends wouldn't go out of their way to help you if you were stranded on the side of the road in a rough part of town. I prefer a small network built on something more substantial than what is premiering on Netflix.
- TheCowboy 6y ago
  It's hard to develop relationships when your default attitude is "idgaf about topics that interest you" and justify it as "no one cares about that" when it's not true. Your example of a real friend also is basically "a true friend should be your personal cabbie if you're in a poor neighborhood" doesn't really show much perspective beyond your own needs and prejudices. Being condescending about other people's interests doesn't make one a better human. It's okay to not be interested in what's premiering on Netflix, but maybe a "let and let live" approach to people being interested in things you don't care about would yield better outcomes. Put a different way: You're essentially self-alienating yourself from a lot of people. Relationships are more readily formed and maintained when you don't knock people for their harmless interests. I don't care much about sports but I understand other people do and there's nothing wrong with that, and sometimes you find that socializing over a game can actually be enjoyable if you're not negatively predisposed.

necheffa 6y ago

They probably called it "posturing" because it is entirely synthetic. No one really cares about the game last night or whatever other nonsense there is. It is all just hollow talk to fill what might be considered "awkward silence" by some. I'm willing to bet some high percentage of "watercooler" friends wouldn't go out of their way to help you if you were stranded on the side of the road in a rough part of town. I prefer a small network built on something more substantial than what is premiering on Netflix.

TheCowboy 6y ago
It's hard to develop relationships when your default attitude is "idgaf about topics that interest you" and justify it as "no one cares about that" when it's not true. Your example of a real friend also is basically "a true friend should be your personal cabbie if you're in a poor neighborhood" doesn't really show much perspective beyond your own needs and prejudices. Being condescending about other people's interests doesn't make one a better human. It's okay to not be interested in what's premiering on Netflix, but maybe a "let and let live" approach to people being interested in things you don't care about would yield better outcomes. Put a different way: You're essentially self-alienating yourself from a lot of people. Relationships are more readily formed and maintained when you don't knock people for their harmless interests. I don't care much about sports but I understand other people do and there's nothing wrong with that, and sometimes you find that socializing over a game can actually be enjoyable if you're not negatively predisposed.