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Also, don't be disappointed if boys just want to be fathers. It's one of the most important and noble jobs there is. Don't discourage it because you don't think

by hansbo 6y ago

Also, don't be disappointed if boys just want to be fathers. It's one of the most important and noble jobs there is. Don't discourage it because you don't think it's as important as what you do.

Buttons840 6y ago
These statement don't sit well with me. Anyone "just being a <whatever>" in their life feels incomplete. (I think you were implying this by reversing the genders.) To the GP, if it's OK for girls to "just be mothers", is it then OK to describe a woman as "just a mother"? I have a daughter. I suspect that if she becomes "just a mother", what that really means is her skills and interests are so foreign to me that I can't come up with a better description than "just a mother". And I hope that I will not be OK with that.
- globular-toast 6y ago
  "Just a regular guy" etc. There's nothing wrong with being just anything. You need to stop treating everyone in the world like a member of your scrum team or something. Understanding people's "skills and interests"? They're just people for crying out loud, speak to them. And no, there's nothing wrong with being "just a person". Stop being so analytical and desperate to have everything conform to your fantasies of what the world should be like.
  - watwut 6y ago
    "Just a regular guy" is still assumed to have distinct personality, interests, hobbies and skills. "Just a mom" is not. That is not the statement on what actual moms are like, but what people imagine when they hear the phrase. Like in the original comment this started with "girls just want to be mothers" is contrasted with being a person who has any out of parenting interests at all. And for all the talk about "noble", no interests at all leaves you with nothing to think about, nothing to talk about, nothing to do, nothing to be happy about when children are not present. Nothing to be proud about once the kids are not toddlers anymore and their achievements are their own.
    - globular-toast 6y ago
      > "Just a regular guy" is still assumed to have distinct personality, interests, hobbies and skills. "Just a mom" is not. Speak for yourself. Sounds like projection to me. Do you have children? Parents can be very proud of their children's accomplishments.
      - watwut 6y ago
        Yes I am parent. And parent "living exclusively through childrens achievements" is object of criticism. That situation is not good for children, because they end up being pushed into parents dreams. It is unfair to children to expect them to be your source of proudness or whatever.

by hansbo 6y ago

Also, don't be disappointed if boys just want to be fathers. It's one of the most important and noble jobs there is. Don't discourage it because you don't think it's as important as what you do.

Buttons840 6y ago

These statement don't sit well with me. Anyone "just being a <whatever>" in their life feels incomplete. (I think you were implying this by reversing the genders.) To the GP, if it's OK for girls to "just be mothers", is it then OK to describe a woman as "just a mother"? I have a daughter. I suspect that if she becomes "just a mother", what that really means is her skills and interests are so foreign to me that I can't come up with a better description than "just a mother". And I hope that I will not be OK with that.

globular-toast 6y ago
"Just a regular guy" etc. There's nothing wrong with being just anything. You need to stop treating everyone in the world like a member of your scrum team or something. Understanding people's "skills and interests"? They're just people for crying out loud, speak to them. And no, there's nothing wrong with being "just a person". Stop being so analytical and desperate to have everything conform to your fantasies of what the world should be like.
- watwut 6y ago
  "Just a regular guy" is still assumed to have distinct personality, interests, hobbies and skills. "Just a mom" is not. That is not the statement on what actual moms are like, but what people imagine when they hear the phrase. Like in the original comment this started with "girls just want to be mothers" is contrasted with being a person who has any out of parenting interests at all. And for all the talk about "noble", no interests at all leaves you with nothing to think about, nothing to talk about, nothing to do, nothing to be happy about when children are not present. Nothing to be proud about once the kids are not toddlers anymore and their achievements are their own.
  - globular-toast 6y ago
    > "Just a regular guy" is still assumed to have distinct personality, interests, hobbies and skills. "Just a mom" is not. Speak for yourself. Sounds like projection to me. Do you have children? Parents can be very proud of their children's accomplishments.
    - watwut 6y ago
      Yes I am parent. And parent "living exclusively through childrens achievements" is object of criticism. That situation is not good for children, because they end up being pushed into parents dreams. It is unfair to children to expect them to be your source of proudness or whatever.