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> Yes, get rid of the niceties when you're under the kind of time pressure and situation you might find in an emergency room and you're bleeding. Again it's my

> Yes, get rid of the niceties when you're under the kind of time pressure and situation you might find in an emergency room and you're bleeding. Again it's my fault, I brought up storytelling and was complaining about that. I'm not upset at the word "please" or something. Your posts keep saying niceties and my posts keep saying stories, which makes me think either you're not hearing my repeated admissions of sidetracking or you're intentionally pushing an agenda. > > That's fair, I waded in to discuss a related pet issue and it's probably not fair to have posted the way I did. Was my wording there. > As to an emergency room not looking like a sausage fest, the stats don't back you up. As I understand it emergency rooms work with EMS but most people in the emergency room are not EMS. If those stats do extend to the E.R. workers then I wonder whether my local E.R. does something different or if it's purely chance, but I'd estimate 70% female at least. Either way the point was an analogy. Bug reports are for the bug details. There are other venues to talk about how much this leftPad library changed your life. That's all I'm trying to say. It's very strange how in this thread maintainers who prefer ass kissing are egotistical and dominating, and maintainers who don't require ass kissing and would be more comfortable if you left it off are also egotistical and dominating. Is the message you want to convey simply that I should not volunteer my time to helping people?

brigandish 6y ago
This is what you responded to, this is what is being advocated. > "Hi! First let me say how much I appreciate this library, it really helps with X. When I, or anyone else in this thread advocates for adding a life story into a bug report or the like, then you can bring in your stories about stories and it'll be relevant. > Is the message you want to convey simply that I should not volunteer my time to helping people? Quite obviously not, it's that you should stop comparing yourself to those in life threatening, intensely time pressured situations and try to be more pleasant to those you're responding to, not trying to find excuses around doing so. You work in a pleasant environment, with low pressure, and are well rewarded, you definitely have the time to be well mannered. > maintainers who prefer ass kissing are egotistical and dominating It's not about "ass kissing" but basic respect, and if you wanted to provide an example of how not to exercise restraint and apply any semblance of etiquette, that would be a good one. Do you ever wonder why development is a "sausage fest" instead of the emergency room?
- reificator 6y ago
  Speaking of basic respect, when someone admits to a mistake several times in a conversation and says explicitly "I waded in" and "it wasn't fair [of me]", repeatedly focusing on berating them for that mistake is not very respectful. It shows that you are not listening to understand, but to find argumentative points. If you're truly concerned about dominating behavior that drives people away, I suggest you start with your own communication. I've been there myself, and I slip up quite often, so don't take this as judgement, only advice.
  - brigandish 6y ago
    > Speaking of basic respect, when someone admits to a mistake several times in a conversation and says explicitly "I waded in" and "it wasn't fair [of me]", repeatedly focusing on berating them for that mistake is not very respectful. We go from a grandmother's chilli recipe in an issue and end up with a comparison using bleeding patients in an ER. That's not someone apologising for a mistake and correcting, that's someone trying to wriggle around easily challenged and fantastical statements used as excuses. What next - are we airline pilots trying to save a plane with 3 failed engines while children selfishly ask for a tour of the cockpit?

brigandish 6y ago

This is what you responded to, this is what is being advocated. > "Hi! First let me say how much I appreciate this library, it really helps with X. When I, or anyone else in this thread advocates for adding a life story into a bug report or the like, then you can bring in your stories about stories and it'll be relevant. > Is the message you want to convey simply that I should not volunteer my time to helping people? Quite obviously not, it's that you should stop comparing yourself to those in life threatening, intensely time pressured situations and try to be more pleasant to those you're responding to, not trying to find excuses around doing so. You work in a pleasant environment, with low pressure, and are well rewarded, you definitely have the time to be well mannered. > maintainers who prefer ass kissing are egotistical and dominating It's not about "ass kissing" but basic respect, and if you wanted to provide an example of how not to exercise restraint and apply any semblance of etiquette, that would be a good one. Do you ever wonder why development is a "sausage fest" instead of the emergency room?

reificator 6y ago
Speaking of basic respect, when someone admits to a mistake several times in a conversation and says explicitly "I waded in" and "it wasn't fair [of me]", repeatedly focusing on berating them for that mistake is not very respectful. It shows that you are not listening to understand, but to find argumentative points. If you're truly concerned about dominating behavior that drives people away, I suggest you start with your own communication. I've been there myself, and I slip up quite often, so don't take this as judgement, only advice.
- brigandish 6y ago
  > Speaking of basic respect, when someone admits to a mistake several times in a conversation and says explicitly "I waded in" and "it wasn't fair [of me]", repeatedly focusing on berating them for that mistake is not very respectful. We go from a grandmother's chilli recipe in an issue and end up with a comparison using bleeding patients in an ER. That's not someone apologising for a mistake and correcting, that's someone trying to wriggle around easily challenged and fantastical statements used as excuses. What next - are we airline pilots trying to save a plane with 3 failed engines while children selfishly ask for a tour of the cockpit?