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I went to university in the same city I grew up in, and made the mistake of living with my with my parents for the first two years. Let me tell you, you don't r

I went to university in the same city I grew up in, and made the mistake of living with my with my parents for the first two years. Let me tell you, you don't really become an adult until you move out.

glouwbug 6y ago
The stresses of university already propels you into adult hood, and by living with your parents, the extra money you save on housing will set you up better for when you do move out. Living with your parents is not the definition of childhood. The definition of childhood is not realizing rent and food cost large sums of money, or that credit systems allow you to purchase rent and food without money, or that houses can be bought with the bank's money. I'd go one step further to say childhood ends when one realizes the fictional settings in books and video games are just linearly connected thoughts etched into their respective paper or magnetic mediums, but that's another topic.
- creata 6y ago
  What stresses do you have in mind? (I'm a third-year right now and I've had nothing to stress about and nothing to do. I just read HN and developer blogs all day. I'd definitely hesitate to say I'm an adult.)
  - com2kid 6y ago
    Planning your own meals, fixing things around the apartment when they break[1], unclogging the toilet, planning your own schedule. That said college is much less stressful, success criteria are well defined (homework, tests, internships, graduate, job) and a lot of things are taken care of for you. But it is a huge step up compared to high school. [1] Assuming you don't live in a dorm and you are renting from some semi-shady place that is slow to respond to maintenance requests because they don't figure students will complain.
  - glouwbug 6y ago
    I found university fairly difficult. I studied a Bachelors of Applied Science in a mix of mechanical, electrical, and software engineering, and I had lots of sleepless nights, feeling as if though I was running some sort of daily mathematical gauntlet. I had my parents to help with the cooking and the (rent-free) living, but the daily commute, the 8 hour days of class, the 2AM study sessions, projects, and homework assignments, really threw me into what I perceived to be adult hood. To each their own, though. If one doesn't feel challenged in higher education, then I can see how one could perceive University to just be an extension of high school. The real kicker is, much doesn't change after University. A day job can be easier, and less stress, and learning how to toss a couple chicken breasts on the pan after work is pretty simple
watwut 6y ago
When I moved out it was not much difference. I kept living same lifestyle as when I lived with parents. The only real difference is that now partner done all the vacuum cleaning and I done laundry that I have not done before. I mean, diffences were pretty minor and mostly in partner being with me all the time now.
Cthulhu_ 6y ago
This is true, and to latch onto your comment, you won't become an adult until you've lived _on your own_ for at least a year. Too many people who seem to move from their parents to live with their SO and expect everything to be taken care of by said SO.
tonyedgecombe 6y ago
Just because that's how it worked out for you doesn't mean it's the same for everybody.
JohnBooty 6y ago
I agree. Could perhaps even take it a step farther and amend that to, "You don't really become an adult until you move out and there's no longer an option for you to move back home"
hinkley 6y ago
I went to a high school commencement shortly before I graduated college and the speeches were all about how high school prepared them for life and I kept thinking, "buddy/lady, talk to me again after you forget a load of laundry in the washing machine" My friend wants her kids to stay in town. I've been reminding the kids there are several good college options less than 90 minutes away, which means if you really get into trouble your parents can bail you out, but you still get to figure your life out.
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
scarmig 6y ago
You don't really become an adult until your parents move in.
jodrellblank 6y ago
Is there anything to this comment except No True Scotsman arbitrary gatekeeping? The internet is full of "you don't become a REAL xyz until" followed by a gatekeeping filter which the commenter just made up, something they have passed and people they look down on have not passed. What about being able to vote and drive and join the military, those are predicated on a legal value of "being an adult" which is a cutoff at age 18. Well we can guess that Saint_Genet really means something about independence and self-reliance, so exclude them. What about a trust-fund child who moves out but still gets money and support from their parents? Preumably the gate moves slightly to exclude those people because having to take responsibility is the REAL filter? And what about people who had awful parents and had to "grow up early" or take care of their parents? Shift the gate around them, too because they're respectable people who should be on the superior side of the gate. What about people who move out, have children, and rely on the grandparents for childcare and support - well they're adults because that's expected and an approved kind of parental support in US culture, no worries. People who moved out, had children, and want the state to fund childcare in some way? Adults? Not adults? Depends on how ruggedly independent and scared of socialism you are. Someone who lives with their parents but is self-employed and employs others whose income depends on the company being well-run, adult or not adult? Judge it based on where they sleep at night, because that makes sense. Someone who lives with their parents and compromises on a shared living situation vs someone who lives alone and has nobody to please or think about but themselves, and pays for a cleaner, and eats out every day? More or less adult? Draw the gate wherever it makes you feel superior and able to look down on people you just put on the other side. Empty internet status-grab comment.

glouwbug 6y ago

The stresses of university already propels you into adult hood, and by living with your parents, the extra money you save on housing will set you up better for when you do move out. Living with your parents is not the definition of childhood. The definition of childhood is not realizing rent and food cost large sums of money, or that credit systems allow you to purchase rent and food without money, or that houses can be bought with the bank's money. I'd go one step further to say childhood ends when one realizes the fictional settings in books and video games are just linearly connected thoughts etched into their respective paper or magnetic mediums, but that's another topic.

creata 6y ago
What stresses do you have in mind? (I'm a third-year right now and I've had nothing to stress about and nothing to do. I just read HN and developer blogs all day. I'd definitely hesitate to say I'm an adult.)
- com2kid 6y ago
  Planning your own meals, fixing things around the apartment when they break[1], unclogging the toilet, planning your own schedule. That said college is much less stressful, success criteria are well defined (homework, tests, internships, graduate, job) and a lot of things are taken care of for you. But it is a huge step up compared to high school. [1] Assuming you don't live in a dorm and you are renting from some semi-shady place that is slow to respond to maintenance requests because they don't figure students will complain.
- glouwbug 6y ago
  I found university fairly difficult. I studied a Bachelors of Applied Science in a mix of mechanical, electrical, and software engineering, and I had lots of sleepless nights, feeling as if though I was running some sort of daily mathematical gauntlet. I had my parents to help with the cooking and the (rent-free) living, but the daily commute, the 8 hour days of class, the 2AM study sessions, projects, and homework assignments, really threw me into what I perceived to be adult hood. To each their own, though. If one doesn't feel challenged in higher education, then I can see how one could perceive University to just be an extension of high school. The real kicker is, much doesn't change after University. A day job can be easier, and less stress, and learning how to toss a couple chicken breasts on the pan after work is pretty simple

watwut 6y ago

When I moved out it was not much difference. I kept living same lifestyle as when I lived with parents. The only real difference is that now partner done all the vacuum cleaning and I done laundry that I have not done before. I mean, diffences were pretty minor and mostly in partner being with me all the time now.

Cthulhu_ 6y ago

This is true, and to latch onto your comment, you won't become an adult until you've lived _on your own_ for at least a year. Too many people who seem to move from their parents to live with their SO and expect everything to be taken care of by said SO.

tonyedgecombe 6y ago

Just because that's how it worked out for you doesn't mean it's the same for everybody.

JohnBooty 6y ago

I agree. Could perhaps even take it a step farther and amend that to, "You don't really become an adult until you move out and there's no longer an option for you to move back home"

hinkley 6y ago

I went to a high school commencement shortly before I graduated college and the speeches were all about how high school prepared them for life and I kept thinking, "buddy/lady, talk to me again after you forget a load of laundry in the washing machine" My friend wants her kids to stay in town. I've been reminding the kids there are several good college options less than 90 minutes away, which means if you really get into trouble your parents can bail you out, but you still get to figure your life out.

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

scarmig 6y ago

You don't really become an adult until your parents move in.

jodrellblank 6y ago

Is there anything to this comment except No True Scotsman arbitrary gatekeeping? The internet is full of "you don't become a REAL xyz until" followed by a gatekeeping filter which the commenter just made up, something they have passed and people they look down on have not passed. What about being able to vote and drive and join the military, those are predicated on a legal value of "being an adult" which is a cutoff at age 18. Well we can guess that Saint_Genet really means something about independence and self-reliance, so exclude them. What about a trust-fund child who moves out but still gets money and support from their parents? Preumably the gate moves slightly to exclude those people because having to take responsibility is the REAL filter? And what about people who had awful parents and had to "grow up early" or take care of their parents? Shift the gate around them, too because they're respectable people who should be on the superior side of the gate. What about people who move out, have children, and rely on the grandparents for childcare and support - well they're adults because that's expected and an approved kind of parental support in US culture, no worries. People who moved out, had children, and want the state to fund childcare in some way? Adults? Not adults? Depends on how ruggedly independent and scared of socialism you are. Someone who lives with their parents but is self-employed and employs others whose income depends on the company being well-run, adult or not adult? Judge it based on where they sleep at night, because that makes sense. Someone who lives with their parents and compromises on a shared living situation vs someone who lives alone and has nobody to please or think about but themselves, and pays for a cleaner, and eats out every day? More or less adult? Draw the gate wherever it makes you feel superior and able to look down on people you just put on the other side. Empty internet status-grab comment.