5 ms·

I have a very, very different definition of success than Warren Buffett does. I say yes to as much as I can, and my life has been extremely fun and interesting

by Mizza 6y ago

I have a very, very different definition of success than Warren Buffett does. I say yes to as much as I can, and my life has been extremely fun and interesting as a result. If I could do it again, I'd say yes more and I'd say yes faster.

Kiro 6y ago
I've done the opposite with an equally rewarding outcome. I used to say yes to so much just because of FOMO and social pressure. I then realized I actually didn't want to do any of that stuff and didn't have to. I'm finally happy and content with life.
- cnity 6y ago
  This exchange highlights the uselessness of pithy one-liner self help remarks: they're interpreted according to what people have already experienced, and they're highly contextual.
- lioeters 6y ago
  The above two parent comments' anecdata suggest that for different people, saying Yes to almost everything, or saying No, can have the same result: to be more sastified with how life is going. What's common between Yes and No is that they're both a deliberate act of choice, of having agency in deciding what happens. For myself, saying No and sticking to my preferences have yielded great results. For example, I hate phones and insist on emails - it's impractical, I know, but by giving firm No's, people respect my communication preference at work and personal life. On the other hand, there are some directions that I'd like to say more Yes to, to consciously open up possibilities. I suppose it comes down to knowing when to say Yes and No, and to act on it.
  - IggleSniggle 6y ago
    This. “Agency,” also called “ownership of decisions,” is really what all this talk of “saying yes” and “saying no” is all about. The can even include ownership of the decision to “just go with the flow and do whatever in the moment,” but the intentionality of that decision is essential.
    - stevesearer 6y ago
      Agency and control over time and decisions is probably also the essence of the regular HN debate over working from home or working from an office. Both can be best depending on the person.
dr_dshiv 6y ago
I totally agree with this. I have 3 kids, 2 jobs... But, I find that taking an "abundance view" towards time truly makes me happier. I have way more fun and do better work. I do rush and hurry for deadlines.. But I don't feel harried in my day to day. I see way too many people limiting their own growth because they see themselves as focusing. I personally think playing around is critical — and that we have way more time than we think. Related: why is it that we think we don't have time to work out, but almost always, whenever we do exercise, the efficiency of work skyrockets?
- IggleSniggle 6y ago
  The truth is we just don’t want to exercise, and all the other things that we would rather do, including productive things that we really do need to do, therefore push the exercise to the side. Even though we know in the abstract that exercise will make our time more effective, we let ourselves be persuaded that we don’t have time because we enjoy working out mentally more than working out physically.
  - jriot 6y ago
    I'm the complete opposite in this regard. I currently spend 2 hours a day training for boxing, spend time on weekends mountain biking and wish there was more time! At some point I'll be financial independent where I will be able to devote even more time. With that being said, would it help people to view exercise as play time? If you go play basketball with a group of guys, are you exercising or playing? For me it doesn't matter, I'm going to be out there either way but for others would the mental shift make a difference?
    - IggleSniggle 6y ago
      Probably this is really it, I would just rather spend my play time futzing with code on a computer.
      - WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
        VR Workouts have unlocked this for me. I'm pretty sedentary but playing beat saber for 1 hour is a lot more moving than I'm used to.
thdrdt 6y ago
I wish your comment was at the top. Money as metric for success leads to destruction. Someone who helps a stranger is successful. I wish more people would understand that everything that devides us as humans leads to destruction. Everything that unites us leads to good things, which I call success.
- KerryJones 6y ago
  Warren Buffett's definition of success is not purely money -- if you look into his life had cares much more about teaching and giving back (both with the giving pledge and one of the largest philanthropists of all time). He just happens to be good at and enjoy making money -- I don't think his advice is less relevant if you see the context behind it, but many just take it out of context.
hnracer 6y ago
For me, saying no much of the time has changed my life for the better. I was constantly doing things I didn't want to do because I didn't know how to say no to friends and family, eventually becoming a little resentful at being dragged to too many events and having no time for myself, even though it was always my fault for saying yes too much.
m463 6y ago
Chances are you are splitting your life into two categories. You are saying "yes" to people, which I applaud. You are not saying "yes" to non-people stuff.
jonahbenton 6y ago
Yes, upvote this. Practice "yes and."

by Mizza 6y ago

Kiro 6y ago

I've done the opposite with an equally rewarding outcome. I used to say yes to so much just because of FOMO and social pressure. I then realized I actually didn't want to do any of that stuff and didn't have to. I'm finally happy and content with life.

cnity 6y ago
This exchange highlights the uselessness of pithy one-liner self help remarks: they're interpreted according to what people have already experienced, and they're highly contextual.
lioeters 6y ago
The above two parent comments' anecdata suggest that for different people, saying Yes to almost everything, or saying No, can have the same result: to be more sastified with how life is going. What's common between Yes and No is that they're both a deliberate act of choice, of having agency in deciding what happens. For myself, saying No and sticking to my preferences have yielded great results. For example, I hate phones and insist on emails - it's impractical, I know, but by giving firm No's, people respect my communication preference at work and personal life. On the other hand, there are some directions that I'd like to say more Yes to, to consciously open up possibilities. I suppose it comes down to knowing when to say Yes and No, and to act on it.
- IggleSniggle 6y ago
  This. “Agency,” also called “ownership of decisions,” is really what all this talk of “saying yes” and “saying no” is all about. The can even include ownership of the decision to “just go with the flow and do whatever in the moment,” but the intentionality of that decision is essential.
  - stevesearer 6y ago
    Agency and control over time and decisions is probably also the essence of the regular HN debate over working from home or working from an office. Both can be best depending on the person.

dr_dshiv 6y ago

I totally agree with this. I have 3 kids, 2 jobs... But, I find that taking an "abundance view" towards time truly makes me happier. I have way more fun and do better work. I do rush and hurry for deadlines.. But I don't feel harried in my day to day. I see way too many people limiting their own growth because they see themselves as focusing. I personally think playing around is critical — and that we have way more time than we think. Related: why is it that we think we don't have time to work out, but almost always, whenever we do exercise, the efficiency of work skyrockets?

IggleSniggle 6y ago
The truth is we just don’t want to exercise, and all the other things that we would rather do, including productive things that we really do need to do, therefore push the exercise to the side. Even though we know in the abstract that exercise will make our time more effective, we let ourselves be persuaded that we don’t have time because we enjoy working out mentally more than working out physically.
- jriot 6y ago
  I'm the complete opposite in this regard. I currently spend 2 hours a day training for boxing, spend time on weekends mountain biking and wish there was more time! At some point I'll be financial independent where I will be able to devote even more time. With that being said, would it help people to view exercise as play time? If you go play basketball with a group of guys, are you exercising or playing? For me it doesn't matter, I'm going to be out there either way but for others would the mental shift make a difference?
  - IggleSniggle 6y ago
    Probably this is really it, I would just rather spend my play time futzing with code on a computer.
    - WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
      VR Workouts have unlocked this for me. I'm pretty sedentary but playing beat saber for 1 hour is a lot more moving than I'm used to.

thdrdt 6y ago

I wish your comment was at the top. Money as metric for success leads to destruction. Someone who helps a stranger is successful. I wish more people would understand that everything that devides us as humans leads to destruction. Everything that unites us leads to good things, which I call success.

KerryJones 6y ago
Warren Buffett's definition of success is not purely money -- if you look into his life had cares much more about teaching and giving back (both with the giving pledge and one of the largest philanthropists of all time). He just happens to be good at and enjoy making money -- I don't think his advice is less relevant if you see the context behind it, but many just take it out of context.

hnracer 6y ago

For me, saying no much of the time has changed my life for the better. I was constantly doing things I didn't want to do because I didn't know how to say no to friends and family, eventually becoming a little resentful at being dragged to too many events and having no time for myself, even though it was always my fault for saying yes too much.

m463 6y ago

Chances are you are splitting your life into two categories. You are saying "yes" to people, which I applaud. You are not saying "yes" to non-people stuff.

jonahbenton 6y ago

Yes, upvote this. Practice "yes and."