> give your kids "control". Instead of telling them to do this or that, provide them choices and let them decide for themselves. And let them feel confident and

> give your kids "control". Instead of telling them to do this or that, provide them choices and let them decide for themselves. And let them feel confident and not worry about failing. This is great, but the _last part_ is so important. A lot of parents try to follow this path, but they end up providing the kids only with false choices. Think "do you want to do your chores or play outside?" where the only answer the parent will actually accept is "do your chores". This is ultimately still parents telling their kids what to do, but framed as though the parents were _helping_ the kids. Children faced with these sorts of questions can grow up always seeking validation, always trying to pick "the right answer" -- leading to failure avoidance, lack of confidence, etc. This can lead to an adult who cannot make choices for themselves (everyone knows people who are always paralyzed by decision-making). Works great for training kids to do well in school, though, since school follows a similar pattern of always having one "correct" answer...