4 ms·

Here in "flyover country, USA" I was looked down upon for asking to use two weeks of my own PTO after my company's new 'generous' two week paid parental leave.

Here in "flyover country, USA" I was looked down upon for asking to use two weeks of my own PTO after my company's new 'generous' two week paid parental leave. That request was constantly pushed off until the week of my wife's induction, when it was formally declined. I was told the request was 'excessive' and that generally the woman needs more time to recover but the father doesn't need much time. I guess our mental health during a global pandemic isn't really of any concern to the bottom line. I'm grateful that we have a healthy 4-month old baby, but this country has a long way to go to realizing that compassion can be profitable. Better parental rights, better funding for education and health - better take care of your workers and your future (children) and they will be able to take better care of you.

codegeek 6y ago
It is absolute Capitalism. Apparently, Americans have gotten used to it because supposedly the only other option to us is "Socialism". There is no middle ground. God forbid we ask for Capitalism with a little bit of social safety net.
- chromanoid 6y ago
  “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” ― Ronald Wright, A Short History of Progress
  - mikestew 6y ago
    I wish that victim-blaming quote would once and for all fade into it's rightful place of crap writing. It's as if that Canadian never spoke with an actual impoverished American.
    - chromanoid 6y ago
      Ah, thanks for the heads-up. I tried to understand what you mean and found this: https://jacobinmag.com/2018/05/americans-class-politics-piston https://jacobinmag.com/2018/05/americans-class-politics-pist... Seems somewhat reasonable to me. But at the same time this statement: > When people can’t easily identify who will be the ultimate beneficiary of a particular state program or policy — that is, whether the rich or the poor will come out on top — then support for that program plummets. makes me wonder how this should change in times of industrial grade trolling and disinformation campaigns. And if the compass is so fragile, why is that?
WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago
> I was told the request was 'excessive' and that generally the woman needs more time to recover but the father doesn't need much time. Honestly, would have just looked for a new job and dipped.
- chromanoid 6y ago
  Easy thing to say, he was expecting a child...
- toyg 6y ago
  Not doable in the first year of a child’s life, but yeah, this is the sort of thing that really marks an employer.
hestefisk 6y ago
Good example of corporate welfare, not social welfare.
kodablah 6y ago
As a counterpoint also in fly over country w/ a 4 month old, I was basically given as much time as I wanted. Granted I only took a few weeks because I was jonesing to get back, but I have peers that have taken months off. This isn't to discount your general point about lack of compassion, just to discount what seemed to be the assumption that it is always the case and/or is related to the middle of the country.
- jahaja 6y ago
  Why can't you use the remaining amount of time at a later date?
  - kodablah 6y ago
    I'm sure I could. My employer doesn't mind anything within reason, there's no max vacation or anything. I sympathize w/ GP as their employer is more strict, I just wanted to add my anecdote so others reading don't assume 100% of employers are like that (granted, most likely are).
    - jahaja 6y ago
      Fair enough. My point is that for people in the US (and countries with similar regulations) they seem to assume that parental leave is something that must be done directly connected to the birth of the child, and when that's up there's no going back. The story is very different here in Sweden where people can save their "parental days" for years if they so chose.
AnIdiotOnTheNet 6y ago
> this country has a long way to go to realizing that compassion can be profitable. Here's the problem: we're stuck in the mindset that profit is so important that we need it to be compatible with compassion or else we'll just sacrifice compassion.
- hcurtiss 6y ago
  Is it that, or is it that our economy is highly competitive and without government intervention with universal requirements those kinds of perks mean your product costs more relative to your competitor, meaning nobody buys your product?
dfxm12 6y ago
I guess our mental health during a global pandemic isn't really of any concern to the bottom line. I honestly wonder what effect one person taking off this time would have on the bottom line. If you are that critical to your company, you could probably negotiate for a higher salary. Otherwise, this is just callousness, which I guess is expected from unchecked capitalism.
jgwil2 6y ago
I understand if you want anonymity here but please share this story with the name of the employer on glassdoor or an appropriate forum. If our government won't protect us from these practices then we must shame such employers, and avoid selling them our labor to the greatest possible extent.

codegeek 6y ago

It is absolute Capitalism. Apparently, Americans have gotten used to it because supposedly the only other option to us is "Socialism". There is no middle ground. God forbid we ask for Capitalism with a little bit of social safety net.

chromanoid 6y ago
“Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” ― Ronald Wright, A Short History of Progress
- mikestew 6y ago
  I wish that victim-blaming quote would once and for all fade into it's rightful place of crap writing. It's as if that Canadian never spoke with an actual impoverished American.
  - chromanoid 6y ago
    Ah, thanks for the heads-up. I tried to understand what you mean and found this: https://jacobinmag.com/2018/05/americans-class-politics-piston https://jacobinmag.com/2018/05/americans-class-politics-pist... Seems somewhat reasonable to me. But at the same time this statement: > When people can’t easily identify who will be the ultimate beneficiary of a particular state program or policy — that is, whether the rich or the poor will come out on top — then support for that program plummets. makes me wonder how this should change in times of industrial grade trolling and disinformation campaigns. And if the compass is so fragile, why is that?

WrtCdEvrydy 6y ago

> I was told the request was 'excessive' and that generally the woman needs more time to recover but the father doesn't need much time. Honestly, would have just looked for a new job and dipped.

chromanoid 6y ago
Easy thing to say, he was expecting a child...
toyg 6y ago
Not doable in the first year of a child’s life, but yeah, this is the sort of thing that really marks an employer.

hestefisk 6y ago

Good example of corporate welfare, not social welfare.

kodablah 6y ago

As a counterpoint also in fly over country w/ a 4 month old, I was basically given as much time as I wanted. Granted I only took a few weeks because I was jonesing to get back, but I have peers that have taken months off. This isn't to discount your general point about lack of compassion, just to discount what seemed to be the assumption that it is always the case and/or is related to the middle of the country.

jahaja 6y ago
Why can't you use the remaining amount of time at a later date?
- kodablah 6y ago
  I'm sure I could. My employer doesn't mind anything within reason, there's no max vacation or anything. I sympathize w/ GP as their employer is more strict, I just wanted to add my anecdote so others reading don't assume 100% of employers are like that (granted, most likely are).
  - jahaja 6y ago
    Fair enough. My point is that for people in the US (and countries with similar regulations) they seem to assume that parental leave is something that must be done directly connected to the birth of the child, and when that's up there's no going back. The story is very different here in Sweden where people can save their "parental days" for years if they so chose.

AnIdiotOnTheNet 6y ago

> this country has a long way to go to realizing that compassion can be profitable. Here's the problem: we're stuck in the mindset that profit is so important that we need it to be compatible with compassion or else we'll just sacrifice compassion.

hcurtiss 6y ago
Is it that, or is it that our economy is highly competitive and without government intervention with universal requirements those kinds of perks mean your product costs more relative to your competitor, meaning nobody buys your product?

dfxm12 6y ago

I guess our mental health during a global pandemic isn't really of any concern to the bottom line. I honestly wonder what effect one person taking off this time would have on the bottom line. If you are that critical to your company, you could probably negotiate for a higher salary. Otherwise, this is just callousness, which I guess is expected from unchecked capitalism.

jgwil2 6y ago

I understand if you want anonymity here but please share this story with the name of the employer on glassdoor or an appropriate forum. If our government won't protect us from these practices then we must shame such employers, and avoid selling them our labor to the greatest possible extent.