4 ms·

If the mother is at home with the child and is recovered. My toddlers did not require two full time adults taking care of them. For the parents I know who did

by rapsey 6y ago

If the mother is at home with the child and is recovered. My toddlers did not require two full time adults taking care of them. For the parents I know who did that, they were 100% helicoptering over them.

gnicholas 6y ago
That's great for you! Many babies cry a lot and make it difficult for one parent to care for them, shop for groceries, prepare food, etc. My friends and I have found that mothers who are nursing at all hours are generally too tired to do everything else around the house, especially if there are other kids. Glad to hear there are some folks whose kids don't require as much care, but I'd say most moms would say that they are sleep-deprived and not fully functional for months after the baby is born. It might not take another full-time adult, as you say, but it sure is helpful to have the father around to take care of things and give the mother some respite.
- rapsey 6y ago
  If the father is working that does not mean he is absent for the entire day and unavailable to help at all. > shop for groceries, prepare food Can be done at any time of the day (you know prepare and reheat later) and by any of the parents. Even if one of them is absent for 8 hours.
  - gnicholas 6y ago
    This is hilariously out of touch. Shopping for groceries with an infant (or an infant + toddler) is a challenge for a single parent. It is absurd to say that you can shop for groceries at any time of day — you have to go when the kids are not napping (ever have two kids on different nap schedules?) or nursing, and then you have to manage getting them into and out of car seats, shopping carts, etc. Your comments strike me as so out of touch that I wonder if you are simply trolling.
    - rapsey 6y ago
      Are you only reading the first few words of my sentences or something. One parent is with the kids, the other goes shopping. Same for cooking. Both of these activities can be completed once the other parent comes back from work. Just because one person works does not mean they are completely unavailable to help in any way.
      - gnicholas 6y ago
        No, I've read your comments carefully. I even read them to my wife, who had a good laugh. This latest comment tries to reframe the grocery shopping bit to involve both parents, but this isn't what you originally said. You said a parent can go grocery shopping anytime, but now you're saying they can do it anytime after the other parent is home and watching the kids. That's a pretty big difference. Also, after dad gets home, then it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime. Mom could run off to the grocery at dinnertime, but most families try to have meals together so that's not a great option. And mom has to be home at bedtime, at least if she is nursing.
        rapsey 6y ago
        > You said a parent can go grocery shopping anytime And what I meant was they have the freedom to go anytime. Obviously the most optimal time is when both parents are available and at home. > Also, after dad gets home, then it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime If you have that little time after work, then that is an entirely different issue.
        gnicholas 6y ago
        > If you have that little time after work, then that is an entirely different issue. Little kids eat dinner super early because of bedtime. We eat dinner at 5:30 these days. I don't know anyone who gets home from work much before then. > And what I meant was they have the freedom to go anytime. Yeah, if you don't mind waking up your napping baby or toddler, sure you can go anytime. I try to give comments the benefit of the doubt, but I'm done with these shape-shifting arguments. Have a good one!

by rapsey 6y ago

gnicholas 6y ago

That's great for you! Many babies cry a lot and make it difficult for one parent to care for them, shop for groceries, prepare food, etc. My friends and I have found that mothers who are nursing at all hours are generally too tired to do everything else around the house, especially if there are other kids. Glad to hear there are some folks whose kids don't require as much care, but I'd say most moms would say that they are sleep-deprived and not fully functional for months after the baby is born. It might not take another full-time adult, as you say, but it sure is helpful to have the father around to take care of things and give the mother some respite.

rapsey 6y ago
If the father is working that does not mean he is absent for the entire day and unavailable to help at all. > shop for groceries, prepare food Can be done at any time of the day (you know prepare and reheat later) and by any of the parents. Even if one of them is absent for 8 hours.
- gnicholas 6y ago
  This is hilariously out of touch. Shopping for groceries with an infant (or an infant + toddler) is a challenge for a single parent. It is absurd to say that you can shop for groceries at any time of day — you have to go when the kids are not napping (ever have two kids on different nap schedules?) or nursing, and then you have to manage getting them into and out of car seats, shopping carts, etc. Your comments strike me as so out of touch that I wonder if you are simply trolling.
  - rapsey 6y ago
    Are you only reading the first few words of my sentences or something. One parent is with the kids, the other goes shopping. Same for cooking. Both of these activities can be completed once the other parent comes back from work. Just because one person works does not mean they are completely unavailable to help in any way.
    - gnicholas 6y ago
      No, I've read your comments carefully. I even read them to my wife, who had a good laugh. This latest comment tries to reframe the grocery shopping bit to involve both parents, but this isn't what you originally said. You said a parent can go grocery shopping anytime, but now you're saying they can do it anytime after the other parent is home and watching the kids. That's a pretty big difference. Also, after dad gets home, then it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime. Mom could run off to the grocery at dinnertime, but most families try to have meals together so that's not a great option. And mom has to be home at bedtime, at least if she is nursing.
      - rapsey 6y ago
        > You said a parent can go grocery shopping anytime And what I meant was they have the freedom to go anytime. Obviously the most optimal time is when both parents are available and at home. > Also, after dad gets home, then it's time for dinner, bath, and bedtime If you have that little time after work, then that is an entirely different issue.
        gnicholas 6y ago
        > If you have that little time after work, then that is an entirely different issue. Little kids eat dinner super early because of bedtime. We eat dinner at 5:30 these days. I don't know anyone who gets home from work much before then. > And what I meant was they have the freedom to go anytime. Yeah, if you don't mind waking up your napping baby or toddler, sure you can go anytime. I try to give comments the benefit of the doubt, but I'm done with these shape-shifting arguments. Have a good one!