Yes we need to have boundaries but a part of me thinks the popularity of 'not being a people pleaser' is in the label 'people pleaser' and its negative connotat

Yes we need to have boundaries but a part of me thinks the popularity of 'not being a people pleaser' is in the label 'people pleaser' and its negative connotation. I set boundaries and listen to my needs but also make a habit of doing good things for others... not for my own self-agrandising or relieving myself of guilt but to set the EXAMPLE of what is good and how I would like to be treated—I don't really care about people's perception of me unless it has some logical argument to it and a lesson in it. Today I felt like getting in touch with people I haven't caught up with in a while and it was great.. it's part of my character.. I like to feel connected. I am upset by the number of transnational people out there that only hold space for you (well try to hold space) when they need you. In short.. understanding your boundaries is good.. BUT making a habit of not being a label.. a perception that sharing your goodness is some wicked thing that saps you of energy.. maybe think carefully if a boundary is being crossed or not first. Some people do gain pleasure from doing good for others. I've certainly learned from going too far with kindness for my perception but that's how you find your boundary and way to being truly sincere.