So to put them together: people who say no too much are self-tortured, and people who say yes too much are tortured by others. Learning to say yes sounds great

So to put them together: people who say no too much are self-tortured, and people who say yes too much are tortured by others. Learning to say yes sounds great, but you're on the path to becoming a people pleaser. And people pleasers who listen to NPR and learn to say no are now on the path to... prioritizing themselves over relationships and self-torture. This can't be right. How do we not torture ourselves?