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Have you considered hiring help to do the chores at home? You might have more time to spare for hobbies.
by hsjsdhf 6y ago
Have you considered hiring help to do the chores at home? You might have more time to spare for hobbies.
- giantg2 6y agoI don't really have the money for that since I also pay all the bills while my wife spends her income on hobbies.
- xupybd 6y agoSounds like some marriage counseling would go a long way. Sounds like you are not happy with the way your wife is treating you. Something will snap if you don't sort that out.
- giantg2 6y agoI've thought about it, but that would just be another expensive bill that I have to pay. I'm not sure I can swing that now with my kid's medical issues and my wife's legal issue.
- wing-_-nuts 6y agoIt's cheaper than the eventual divorce.
- giantg2 6y agoIf that happens, I'll quit my job and live in a van down by the river. The system has screwed me enough already.
- scott_s 6y agoPlease reconsider therapy. If your wife won't engage in couple's therapy, then please consider therapy on your own. You sound depressed, and you are providing reasons to not bother taking action to be not depressed. I am worried by that.
- mleonhard 6y agoThere are some skills that will help you a lot in your situation. I learned them from a book called Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg. My therapist recommended it. I hope you will try reading it.
- oh_sigh 6y agoMaybe you should have your partner do the chores then? You sound like a push over. How does your wife even have income if all she pursues is hobbies?
- giantg2 6y agoShe doesn't just pursue hobbies. She turned one of her hobbies into income (tennis teacher). She uses almost all that money for her hobbies like dressage (she saves a tiny amount). She refuses to learn how to do most chores, like shopping or cooking. She doesn't have the technical mindset/background for others, such as handyman, mechanic, or yardwork stuff.
- oh_sigh 6y agoOkay, so at least she is earning income. But it isn't really a good situation if you work 8 hours and she works 8 hours, but then you also do 4 hours of housework per day and she does zero. There are a million mindless tasks that need to be done regularly in a house...putting dishes in the dishwasher, cleaning a bathroom, folding laundry, that takes zero learning.
- giantg2 6y agoShe does 3 chores - most of the dishes, most of the laundry, and vacuuming. And she still won't get that stuff right. So there is some learning involved. She consistently ruins the seasoning on the cast iron because she insists on using scotch-brite on everything (plastic, glass, enamel, etc). She asks me to do the laundry if there are stains or if I need to pre soak the whites. Otherwise she always does it cold water with soap only and they come out dull or still dirty. And she insists on using the 2" vacuum cleaner tube to do the vinyl floor. It would be sooo much more efficient to just run it over the floor normally (won't hurt this floor). She also has a tendency to break things and expect me to fix them - like it's not her problem. I even have to tell her stuff like keep the dog on a leash. Now I have to take care of a bunch of legal stuff for her (side not is that the officer wrote it up incorrectly or it would just be a fine). Isn't one of the points of getting married to work as a team and make each other's lives easier? In my opinion she makes my life more difficult. I swear I'm the only adult in the house.