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To be honest this seems more like a Bob problem than a Sue problem. "Just get on with it" (or some variation thereof, whether reference to imposter syndrome, st

To be honest this seems more like a Bob problem than a Sue problem. "Just get on with it" (or some variation thereof, whether reference to imposter syndrome, stiff upper lip, etc) is thrown about all the time in all workplaces. If you are genuinely struggling or don't know what to do then it is your professional responsibility to make the right people know about it. If Bob did stress this very strongly with Sue, and Sue was the person in charge of allocating tasks, then yes of course Sue is to blame. Giving people tasks they can't do is bad. Perhaps Sue thinks that Bob should be able to figure it out within the 10 days and doesn't need more than that to both investigate and complete the task? If there is a large knowledge imbalance and Sue knows a lot more about the task than Bob then maybe she should take on that task instead. So many variables!

afarrell 6y ago
yep, it is a complex multifactor problem. > make the right people know about it. You cannot _make_ someone else know something. Even if you to grab onto their skull and scream into their ear, it would do no good. (I assume. I have not tested this.) You can only say what you believe with whatever rhetorical skill you can muster. They can still choose to trust you with something you say you don't know how to do. Whether the subcomponent is physical or psychological, sometimes the only way to credibly communicate about a risk is through the medium of catastrophic failure. https://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/rn_Colloquium1012.html https://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/rn_...
afarrell 6y ago
Or rather, maybe you know how to make people know about things. Many people do not. I still do not know how to persuade people that I DO NOT have psychic powers -- other people's brains are separate from mine.
afarrell 6y ago
> If Bob did stress this very strongly with Sue, and Sue was the person in charge of allocating tasks, then yes of course Sue is to blame. Giving people tasks they can't do is bad. The trouble is if Bob doesn't know he can do it or not. It can be very hard to tell if you're actually confused about something or if you are just making excuses. Sadly, if the latter, there really is only one way to stop making excuses. -------- Note: While I am feeling very distressed these days. I want to reassure y'all that I am not going to stop making excuses. There are too many people who love and care about me dearly whom I know would be devastated.
- afarrell 6y ago
  (Also, I don't think I actually make excuses very frequently at all. Occasionally I deceive myself, but far more often than that I give reasons that reflect a reality which is genuinely absurd in ways that are unfair to the listener yet still true.)
afarrell 6y ago
How would Bob even know if he is qualified to tell if he is genuinely struggling or just suffering from impostor syndrome? How would he tell if he is just bullshitting himself about whether or not he has real a problem?

afarrell 6y ago

yep, it is a complex multifactor problem. > make the right people know about it. You cannot _make_ someone else know something. Even if you to grab onto their skull and scream into their ear, it would do no good. (I assume. I have not tested this.) You can only say what you believe with whatever rhetorical skill you can muster. They can still choose to trust you with something you say you don't know how to do. Whether the subcomponent is physical or psychological, sometimes the only way to credibly communicate about a risk is through the medium of catastrophic failure. https://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/rn_Colloquium1012.html https://www.nasa.gov/centers/langley/news/researchernews/rn_...

afarrell 6y ago

Or rather, maybe you know how to make people know about things. Many people do not. I still do not know how to persuade people that I DO NOT have psychic powers -- other people's brains are separate from mine.

afarrell 6y ago

> If Bob did stress this very strongly with Sue, and Sue was the person in charge of allocating tasks, then yes of course Sue is to blame. Giving people tasks they can't do is bad. The trouble is if Bob doesn't know he can do it or not. It can be very hard to tell if you're actually confused about something or if you are just making excuses. Sadly, if the latter, there really is only one way to stop making excuses. -------- Note: While I am feeling very distressed these days. I want to reassure y'all that I am not going to stop making excuses. There are too many people who love and care about me dearly whom I know would be devastated.

afarrell 6y ago
(Also, I don't think I actually make excuses very frequently at all. Occasionally I deceive myself, but far more often than that I give reasons that reflect a reality which is genuinely absurd in ways that are unfair to the listener yet still true.)

afarrell 6y ago

How would Bob even know if he is qualified to tell if he is genuinely struggling or just suffering from impostor syndrome? How would he tell if he is just bullshitting himself about whether or not he has real a problem?