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Speaking from the younger generations perspective, this is a great way to destroy the relationship with your adult children. I'm sure it doesn't feel great for

Speaking from the younger generations perspective, this is a great way to destroy the relationship with your adult children. I'm sure it doesn't feel great for them to be dependent on you and face your scorn on a daily basis. I just hope the situation will never be reversed, for your sake.

irrational 6y ago
Scorn? I haven't said a word to them. How could I? I barely see them.
- ganzuul 6y ago
  They are adults now. They can tell.
- smorephism 6y ago
  I suspect they get the idea.
- chillwaves 6y ago
  From my experience, feeling constantly judged by my parents is damaging (speaking for myself and my siblings) and leads to avoidant behaviors. This holds true whether I am working or not, whether I live with them or am on my own. Maybe you can have a conversation with them to reset expectations? Part of this process should communicate to them what your expectations are and then, if they meet those expectations you should try not to judge their lifestyles. Would you care if they slept until noon if they were otherwise productive? The fact that there are nebulous unspoken "rules" is a likely source of tension. Apologies for the judgment in my last comment, clearly I do not know your family and am just projecting my own familial dysfunction. To put it bluntly, your comment hit a nerve but my response was uncalled for.
DamnYuppie 6y ago
If their actions were productive and healthy I would agree with you. Yet their behavior sounds unproductive and unlikely to lead to a quality life. As such scorn is warranted. Younger generations 40 and below have a tendency to believe that regardless of what they are doing no one can have a negative opinion on what they do, otherwise the other party is to be blamed and shamed. There is little to no self accountability.
- d33 6y ago
  What's needed here is sympathy. They could as well be depressed, addicted or have any other problem they're trying to run away from. Or just a broken sleep cycle. Bottom line is, if you're bitter about it, you're unlikely to change anything and only get to accumulate resentment.
  - chillwaves 6y ago
    Agree hard with this. For one, we all know how addictive screens are. Many people commenting here are part of the firms that design/support these addiction machines. What I would want older generations to understand is that modern lifestyle is more and more of an attention trap that expresses itself both mentally and physically. Sympathy is good, empathy is better.
dang 6y ago
Please don't post like this here. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24496544 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24496544 for more explanation.
- chillwaves 6y ago
  Sorry dang, my tone is wrong. I'll do better. I agree with what you wrote in your link.
  - dang 6y ago
    Appreciated!
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]

irrational 6y ago

Scorn? I haven't said a word to them. How could I? I barely see them.

ganzuul 6y ago
They are adults now. They can tell.
smorephism 6y ago
I suspect they get the idea.
chillwaves 6y ago
From my experience, feeling constantly judged by my parents is damaging (speaking for myself and my siblings) and leads to avoidant behaviors. This holds true whether I am working or not, whether I live with them or am on my own. Maybe you can have a conversation with them to reset expectations? Part of this process should communicate to them what your expectations are and then, if they meet those expectations you should try not to judge their lifestyles. Would you care if they slept until noon if they were otherwise productive? The fact that there are nebulous unspoken "rules" is a likely source of tension. Apologies for the judgment in my last comment, clearly I do not know your family and am just projecting my own familial dysfunction. To put it bluntly, your comment hit a nerve but my response was uncalled for.

DamnYuppie 6y ago

If their actions were productive and healthy I would agree with you. Yet their behavior sounds unproductive and unlikely to lead to a quality life. As such scorn is warranted. Younger generations 40 and below have a tendency to believe that regardless of what they are doing no one can have a negative opinion on what they do, otherwise the other party is to be blamed and shamed. There is little to no self accountability.

d33 6y ago
What's needed here is sympathy. They could as well be depressed, addicted or have any other problem they're trying to run away from. Or just a broken sleep cycle. Bottom line is, if you're bitter about it, you're unlikely to change anything and only get to accumulate resentment.
- chillwaves 6y ago
  Agree hard with this. For one, we all know how addictive screens are. Many people commenting here are part of the firms that design/support these addiction machines. What I would want older generations to understand is that modern lifestyle is more and more of an attention trap that expresses itself both mentally and physically. Sympathy is good, empathy is better.

dang 6y ago

Please don't post like this here. See https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24496544 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24496544 for more explanation.

chillwaves 6y ago
Sorry dang, my tone is wrong. I'll do better. I agree with what you wrote in your link.
- dang 6y ago
  Appreciated!

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]