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The biggest issue, in my opinion, is described by the author as "third rails". I have stopped asking questions online because of it, and tend to avoid forums w
by II2II 6y ago
The biggest issue, in my opinion, is described by the author as "third rails". I have stopped asking questions online because of it, and tend to avoid forums while searching for answers because of it.
The problem is that the people answering to the effect of, "you should do this instead," seem to believe that the person asking the question is completely ignorant of the issues involved. This is not necessarily the case. Expecting the asker to justify why they want to use a particular approach not only discourages the asking, but it distracts from the question. Making matters worse, the people offering these opinions rarely answer the question anyhow.
- mdifrgechd 6y agoI have found this a problem in real life too - people often assume that when you are asking for help you are asking for them to become a strategic partner that is going to shape your overall approach to the problem. For example, getting someone at work with some free time to pitch in on a minor presentation aspect of a major project, where decisions have been made over a long period of consultation and trial and error, I have been told all sorts of things about "it would be better if we did this..." I guess people are trying to be helpful, but cynically I think it also comes from overestimating their importance and assuming because you asked for help it must be at a project steering level and not just to get through a minor bind.
- gonzo41 6y agoThink about it this way. They know something that you don't and you're in a position asking them for help. Engaging them as a partner in your solution creates buy in from them. And really they are actually a partner in your solution now. Their extra information, thoughts and ideas, may all be useless but letting them say that is the cost of not having to RTFM for yourself.
- jlokier 6y agoI've had the same thing when asking in person for practical, physical help with something. Occasionally someone has decided a simple request for assistance is really a request for them to completely redesign the solution I already have bought the expensive components for, and half built and tested. Start from scratch, appoint themselves project leader, do all the experiments themselves that were already done, etc. If we're really lucky, they'll do this despite months of work preceding the request. No, sometimes I just asked for some simple practical assistance, end of. And I rarely want to delete the work so far, so we can all start from the beginning.