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Not to minimize the struggles of suburban parents, but I do feel they might be divorced from what single urban life is like right now. As a "younger" (30 year

Not to minimize the struggles of suburban parents, but I do feel they might be divorced from what single urban life is like right now. As a "younger" (30 year old) tech employee, in addition to living in a cramped space with 3 roommates in SF with no privacy, I have to work in a dining room because my bedroom has very thin walls. I also have to do cook and clean way more often, when I previously used to get 3 meals a day at work. I also have to haul groceries a couple times a week, which is super painful without a car, and then I have to compete for very limited fridge space. I also haven't met friends and family in over 6 months, and my dating life's been obliterated. It's been mentally taxing in a way that living with your loved ones in a McMansion isn't. I can't even handle Zoom calls with friends anymore. It's the last thing I want to do after the 3 hours of back to back Zoom meetings I get roped into because I'm "senior". Again, I don't mean to minimize the struggles of parents, college kids, the many people unemployed, our essential workers keeping things running, or our elderly who are at risk of dying. I'm in a very privileged position. But it's clear that all the lifestyle changes I've been forced to make have been a huge drain on my productivity.

andreilys 6y ago
Have you thought about relocating from SF? Most of my friends, including myself, have taken advantage of the current WFH situation to find much better accommodations for themselves outside of SF. Obviously not an option for everyone, but for those that have it I would definitely pursue it.
- gotaran 6y ago
  Oh yeah, definitely. I held on to my place in SF because it was a rent controlled spot that I clinged on to, but with rents crashing and the quality of life in SF worsening, I've considered terminating my lease and putting my stuff in storage. Where did you move? A few months in a seaside town Airbnb would be nice. I could use the change of scenery.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
  - randycupertino 6y ago
    You might really like Portsmouth, NH. It's a cool seaside town with a lot of character, and easy trips to Maine, VT, NH White Mountains and Boston.
    - mepiethree 6y ago
      The places you mentioned are indeed so beautiful, but I for one would hold off on moving from California to NH right before winter. I felt the first breath of fall today in NY... I'm not sure there is a perfect place in the world Asheville, but Asheville and Durham NC are nice and affordable. Sacramento is nice too, especially if you soon want to commute in to SF 1-2 times a week.
dbancajas 6y ago
how much is your salary for you to be on that living arrangement? sounds awful when 250K/year in SF can't buy any decent living space.
- gotaran 6y ago
  About $450k all in (not FAANG but a mid sized public company in SF I'm sure you've heard of). Fwiw, it wasn't a terrible living space before the pandemic; it just isn't conducive to WFH situations. I'd found that rent controlled spot, and I was paying $1100/mo for a room in an apartment with a backyard, in-unit washer/dryer, and a dishwasher. As a single dude, I really didn't need anything else, I wasn't willing to pay $4000 or whatever for a 1BR, and I just hate moving. Of course, times have changed, and I think I'll move soon. But yeah, to your point, pre-Covid SF was absurd in terms of cost of living, and the current exodus just shows how unsustainable it was.
  - golergka 6y ago
    > living in a cramped space with 3 roommates in SF with no privacy > About $450k all in What.
    - jrochkind1 6y ago
      OK, I'm out.
    - gotaran 6y ago
      Haha, well it's the same spot I was living in when I was making $120k + non-liquid RSUs. And since it was rent controlled, I never bothered to move. I'd be paying $3000 more if were to move into a 1BR, and I would rather spend that on travel, dates, and post-tax investments. And anyway, an apartment that's fairly spacious can turn into a congested mess when everyone's WFH. Previously, all of us had tech jobs where we had dinner at work, did a post-dinner workout, went to happy hour, and such. On weekends, some of us would be on day trips to Napa, or at a dinner party, or some such thing like that. Now that everyone's more or less inside during business hours, organizing the fridge is like playing Tetris, walking in the house requires a level of spatial awareness driving in Manhattan does, and storing all the household essentials takes up even more space. Kitchen contention issues also come up all the time. The getting more space vs. staying tradeoff is worth it now: I'd personally value each sq ft I have to myself more, and the rent differential is much lower too (rents in SF are crashing, and I'm not restricted to living in SF anyway). IMO, that wasn't a reasonable tradeoff to make pre-Covid.
an_opabinia 6y ago
How about moving back home? Your parents will be happy to have you around, cooking will be fun again, they are your best friends. And since there are only 7 zipcodes in the whole US where single men outnumber single women ages 20-40, your dating life may surprisingly improve too! Listen this is a healthy perspective. Having such clarity about how shitty things are without the perks. Most people sit around years ruminating how crappy all this stuff is and you figured it out pretty quickly.
- gotaran 6y ago
  Thanks, that's actually great advice. I can't move back home - my parents aren't in the US and with border closures and tax implications I don't want to risk international travel now. I don't have any visa issues thankfully, so I can pretty much relocate to anywhere in the country. I'm thinking of an AirBnb in a nice seaside town.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]

andreilys 6y ago

Have you thought about relocating from SF? Most of my friends, including myself, have taken advantage of the current WFH situation to find much better accommodations for themselves outside of SF. Obviously not an option for everyone, but for those that have it I would definitely pursue it.

gotaran 6y ago
Oh yeah, definitely. I held on to my place in SF because it was a rent controlled spot that I clinged on to, but with rents crashing and the quality of life in SF worsening, I've considered terminating my lease and putting my stuff in storage. Where did you move? A few months in a seaside town Airbnb would be nice. I could use the change of scenery.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- randycupertino 6y ago
  You might really like Portsmouth, NH. It's a cool seaside town with a lot of character, and easy trips to Maine, VT, NH White Mountains and Boston.
  - mepiethree 6y ago
    The places you mentioned are indeed so beautiful, but I for one would hold off on moving from California to NH right before winter. I felt the first breath of fall today in NY... I'm not sure there is a perfect place in the world Asheville, but Asheville and Durham NC are nice and affordable. Sacramento is nice too, especially if you soon want to commute in to SF 1-2 times a week.

dbancajas 6y ago

how much is your salary for you to be on that living arrangement? sounds awful when 250K/year in SF can't buy any decent living space.

gotaran 6y ago
About $450k all in (not FAANG but a mid sized public company in SF I'm sure you've heard of). Fwiw, it wasn't a terrible living space before the pandemic; it just isn't conducive to WFH situations. I'd found that rent controlled spot, and I was paying $1100/mo for a room in an apartment with a backyard, in-unit washer/dryer, and a dishwasher. As a single dude, I really didn't need anything else, I wasn't willing to pay $4000 or whatever for a 1BR, and I just hate moving. Of course, times have changed, and I think I'll move soon. But yeah, to your point, pre-Covid SF was absurd in terms of cost of living, and the current exodus just shows how unsustainable it was.
- golergka 6y ago
  > living in a cramped space with 3 roommates in SF with no privacy > About $450k all in What.
  - jrochkind1 6y ago
    OK, I'm out.
  - gotaran 6y ago
    Haha, well it's the same spot I was living in when I was making $120k + non-liquid RSUs. And since it was rent controlled, I never bothered to move. I'd be paying $3000 more if were to move into a 1BR, and I would rather spend that on travel, dates, and post-tax investments. And anyway, an apartment that's fairly spacious can turn into a congested mess when everyone's WFH. Previously, all of us had tech jobs where we had dinner at work, did a post-dinner workout, went to happy hour, and such. On weekends, some of us would be on day trips to Napa, or at a dinner party, or some such thing like that. Now that everyone's more or less inside during business hours, organizing the fridge is like playing Tetris, walking in the house requires a level of spatial awareness driving in Manhattan does, and storing all the household essentials takes up even more space. Kitchen contention issues also come up all the time. The getting more space vs. staying tradeoff is worth it now: I'd personally value each sq ft I have to myself more, and the rent differential is much lower too (rents in SF are crashing, and I'm not restricted to living in SF anyway). IMO, that wasn't a reasonable tradeoff to make pre-Covid.

an_opabinia 6y ago

How about moving back home? Your parents will be happy to have you around, cooking will be fun again, they are your best friends. And since there are only 7 zipcodes in the whole US where single men outnumber single women ages 20-40, your dating life may surprisingly improve too! Listen this is a healthy perspective. Having such clarity about how shitty things are without the perks. Most people sit around years ruminating how crappy all this stuff is and you figured it out pretty quickly.

gotaran 6y ago
Thanks, that's actually great advice. I can't move back home - my parents aren't in the US and with border closures and tax implications I don't want to risk international travel now. I don't have any visa issues thankfully, so I can pretty much relocate to anywhere in the country. I'm thinking of an AirBnb in a nice seaside town.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]