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There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course. But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring th

There is the problem of predatory approaches to women in social networks of course. But I feel most women automatically take any messages from men declaring their affection, be it genuine or not, in a pretty negative way by default. I get it's a protective natural reaction, but it can be harmful. If you're a woman, and you take this too seriously and in a negative way, suddenly you start thinking all men are mindless jerks. I've seen it. It's all about the choice of words. If I were a woman, and a stranger sent me an email out of the blue, but was educated and chose his words well, I wouldn't care at all. In fact I would seek him out so that we get to know each other better. If not I would simply ignore it. Of course this can be hard if you get bombarded with hundreds of messages, and emails and stuff. But I would try not to be dismissive and view it in a negative way by default. People live in a defensive state always, and that is really harmful.

nicbou 6y ago
I'm not sure this is a relevant factor here. I don't think it's about the choice of words, but the choice of context. This is a professional networking website, so focus on that. People expose their LinkedIn profiles for a specific purpose, and that's networking. It's not an invitation for cold calls. Hijacking a community like this poisons the well for everyone else. When it becomes prevalent enough, women put their guard up, or avoid that community altogether.
BobbyJo 6y ago
This is kind of ignorant of the fact that the defensive state is a reaction to harmful behavior. You're placing the burden of 'dealing with it' on the passive participant, when it belongs to the active party. If you can't stand the 'harm' of a negative reaction to picking a girl up on LinkedIn, then don't do it. They, unfortunately, don't get the option to avoid it before it happens. Secondly, as a LinkedIn user, there is a reasonable expectation that communication in the platform will be professional. The platform's value proposition is grounded in this expectation as a sort of social contract. Sometimes people are ok with others defying said social contract, but you should assume they won't be.
- bobwernstein 6y ago
  picking up a girl on linkedin only works if you approach in a professional way anyway. The chances for a coffee meeting is 100x higher if you suggest discussing some mutual professional interests (fake it if you must) then just saying '' do you want to go on a date with me''. Then if you like each other you will notice the sparks flying. If not you now have networked professionaly. win win
birdyrooster 6y ago
It might be that most women are already in monogamous relationships or are uninterested in romantic relationships. Unsolicited requests for things that the receiver isn't interested in should be considered negative. Was it not implicit that by signing up for LinkedIn that they weren't there for romantic interests?

nicbou 6y ago

I'm not sure this is a relevant factor here. I don't think it's about the choice of words, but the choice of context. This is a professional networking website, so focus on that. People expose their LinkedIn profiles for a specific purpose, and that's networking. It's not an invitation for cold calls. Hijacking a community like this poisons the well for everyone else. When it becomes prevalent enough, women put their guard up, or avoid that community altogether.

BobbyJo 6y ago

This is kind of ignorant of the fact that the defensive state is a reaction to harmful behavior. You're placing the burden of 'dealing with it' on the passive participant, when it belongs to the active party. If you can't stand the 'harm' of a negative reaction to picking a girl up on LinkedIn, then don't do it. They, unfortunately, don't get the option to avoid it before it happens. Secondly, as a LinkedIn user, there is a reasonable expectation that communication in the platform will be professional. The platform's value proposition is grounded in this expectation as a sort of social contract. Sometimes people are ok with others defying said social contract, but you should assume they won't be.

bobwernstein 6y ago
picking up a girl on linkedin only works if you approach in a professional way anyway. The chances for a coffee meeting is 100x higher if you suggest discussing some mutual professional interests (fake it if you must) then just saying '' do you want to go on a date with me''. Then if you like each other you will notice the sparks flying. If not you now have networked professionaly. win win

birdyrooster 6y ago

It might be that most women are already in monogamous relationships or are uninterested in romantic relationships. Unsolicited requests for things that the receiver isn't interested in should be considered negative. Was it not implicit that by signing up for LinkedIn that they weren't there for romantic interests?