6 ms·
As a man in my late 30s, I began to see older male relatives of my own and of friends dying of the usual things like cancer and some even of opioids, but the th
by motohagiography 6y ago
As a man in my late 30s, I began to see older male relatives of my own and of friends dying of the usual things like cancer and some even of opioids, but the thing that struck me was how many of them depended on hiring the funeral home staff as fill-in pallbearers. I made it a priority to be sure that however things go, I'd like to be able to convene a party of six. One of the things I did was get involved with a fraternal organization, as weird and anachronistic as that sounds, it has been very rewarding, and you get to see what a mixed bag other guys at different ages really are and how you are both similar and different. Another was setting better personal boundaries and committing to owning and prioritizing my own social life in romantic relationships, and made a commitment to a set of long term hobbies that I should be able to do until I am completely incapacitated.
I heartily recommend all three things to anyone who felt the original article resonated.
- phobosanomaly 6y agoThere used to be 'sportsman's' clubs, ham radio clubs, sailing clubs, hiking clubs, bowling leagues, search-and-rescue, jeep clubs etc that have to an unfortunate degree just faded away only to be replaced by meetup groups that just seem to be trying a little...too...hard.... Fraternal organizations, hell, that's what they're for! Men of 30 and up to get together and drink beer and tell war stories. It's not weird and anachronistic at all!
- SamPatt 6y agoThose clubs still exist. I'm in a table tennis league and ham radio club, or at least I was before COVID when my state effectively outlawed them.
- jkepler 6y agoWait, but you can still radio the folks I'm your ham club, right? Or has government overreach stretched to new lows?
- keenmaster 6y agoI want the old Viennese/Parisian/Arabian intellectual cafe and salon clubs to come back. I would join one in a heartbeat.
- phobosanomaly 6y agoMy nostalgia is for Ed Ricketts' version of that at Pacific Biological Laboratories in Monterey. Sort of a low-brow early California take on it. "The lab became a meeting place for intellectuals, artists, and writers, including Bruce Ariss, Joseph Campbell, Henry Miller, John Steinbeck, Lincoln Steffens, and Francis Whitaker." If you ever make it to the Monterey Bay aquarium they have Ed Ricketts' bookshelf, including a copy of A Skeleton Key to Finnegans Wake. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Biological_Laboratories https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pacific_Biological_Laboratorie...
- bmn__ 6y agohttps://hackerspaces.org/ https://hackerspaces.org/
- jariel 6y agoNothing anachronistic about it at all though.
- undersuit 6y agoA tiny bit. My father will be carried by his friends, my uncle, my brother and I. My mom will be carried my uncles, my cousins, my brother, and I
- Balgair 6y agohttps://strenuouslife.co/ https://strenuouslife.co/ Though not perfect, it's a good starting point along the lines you're talking about. I think they have sign ups in a few weeks.
- motohagiography 6y agoFunny, I already do most of these things in addition to some others. Adding solitary self improvement skills are a necessary start, and friendships are indeed often the effect of being useful at something. Some gaps are astronomy, which I planned to pick up as part of celestial navigation cert for sailing, and the gardening bit, as I just bailed on doing a vegetable garden. I've seen a few of these efforts over the years, and good on them, but it's like they're trying to reconstruct Freemasonry, which already exists everywhere in the world and it is there for guys who are looking.
- claudiulodro 6y agoAre you a member? I've heard the advertisements on the Art of Manliness podcast, and I've always been curious about it.