A possible counterpoint to this is that in some big cities you do have forms of anonymous camaraderie. I live in the largest city in south america (são paulo),

A possible counterpoint to this is that in some big cities you do have forms of anonymous camaraderie. I live in the largest city in south america (são paulo), and once I moved here my biggest surprise was how intimate this place could be in comparison with the much smaller places I had lived in before. While in the subway other people are complete strangers and won't receive a cursory greeting, if you do ask someone for help or information it's highly likely that you will get a very polite answer in return, no matter how weird, agressive, poor, or shabby looking you are (I've seen from bums to well-dressed business-people being treated the same way when asking for information in the subway). Also any reasonably self-contained place in this city creates familiarity--I know my butcher by name, the people from the fruit and vegetable market (there are a few in every neighborhood) know me and my wife, I talk to the owners of the nightclubs and restaurants I go to, it is perfectly acceptable to talk to strangers when lining up for the movies (but not necessarily inside the movies, although I've seen people making friendships in this way), etc. The secret seems to be that to create intimacy and trust you need to build some form of a smaller spaces where people can be identified and recognized inside the "big city". Continuing with the city analogy, as long as there are spaces where you will face consequences for misbehaving, social trust is built. This suggests that a way to improve HN is to add more explicit punishments for bad behavior, preferably moderated.