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Perspective from someone with a child (1.25 years old): When my wife and I chose to have a kid, there was absolutely no reason to think that we would have any

Perspective from someone with a child (1.25 years old): When my wife and I chose to have a kid, there was absolutely no reason to think that we would have any difficulty finding a nanny/daycare or that we would have to try to work in the same environment that our son is playing in. When COVID-19 restrictions went into effect, we had basically no notice that we would be expected to work from home full time, that our building's common areas would all be closed a few days later, that our nanny would be unable to make the commute (no license should not have been in issue in NYC) and that daycares would all be closed exactly when we needed to find one, etc. We had to move just to get an extra room that could be used as an "office," because working from the kitchen table is impossible when a baby wants to crawl up to you, pull himself into a standing position, and grab whatever you are "playing" with. Even with the extra room, we still have trouble. Our son walks (and runs) now and is beginning to understand how doorknobs work, but he still has no concept of leaving us alone to do our work. If he has the chance to run into our office he will, and if he does not he sometimes bangs on the door and cries when nobody opens it. Either way it is a huge distraction that makes it much harder to get anything done. Try explaining to a toddler that mommy and daddy are working and see how far you get. We also continue to see chaos with our childcare arrangements, which takes its toll on productivity. Your side hustle is optional and can be put on hold. When you already have kids you cannot stop being a parent and children cannot be paused. I agree that employers should give people time for "personal obligations," and in fact mine does and my boss has been using that time to check in on elderly parents, but the fact is that parenting is one of the few 24x7 personal obligations. It is not like I can say that I am setting aside one day a week or two hours per day to be a parent. As hard as it is to deal with a toddler while trying to work, it is harder for parents who are being told that they must supervise their children's schoolwork. It is easy to forget that part of the job of a teacher is to watch over the kids in their classroom and ensure they are not just goofing off all day, but with kids doing "school from home" that is now the job of their parents. Again, it comes down to having someone else there to take on that job while parents are working, and again it is not a question of time and it is not something optional that people can put on hold until the crisis is over. Basically there is no way to make any of this sustainable. COVID restrictions make childcare arrangements more difficult and less reliable, but those gaps must be filled and in the end it is parents who have to fill them (if someone else could do so, then it would not be a 'gap').

wonderwonder 6y ago
Exactly this, there was absolutely no way to predict Covid or a complete shutdown of child care / schools. I went from happily working from home in an office with no door and my 2 young kids in elementary school while my wife commuted to her work to my kids taking online classes which require massive parent interaction, and my wife working from home at the kitchen table right outside my office with no door. We cant take the kids anywhere due to covid and older parents so they are rightfully bored and frustrated. Wife had a breakdown today from not being able to get any work done because she is constantly getting up to help the kids with school work or when school is done they automatically call out to her whenever they need anything. We are snapping at the kids for just normal kid things because we both have to work and are getting so little done. She has a massive amount of responsibility where she is the bottle neck for multiple departments as all work has to be legally approved by her. I am in a new role and essentially on conf. calls all day while still having to get software built. This sucks for everyone, but I can guarantee that as much as the childless people resent people with kids getting to slack on work time, we are paying for it in spades in other aspects of our lives. Most of all I feel bad for my kids, this is not a situation they have any control over and all they know is that things are hard for them.
bbarn 6y ago
> Basically there is no way to make any of this sustainable. It's not just child care, the response to COVID is unsustainable period. People will continue to act out and single out things like this topic, but all in all, the current solution won't get the United States through the next year without a massive economic collapse. There is no easy solution here, no magic cure, and the "let's just let the 30% who can work remote do so" is already collapsing in almost every vertical. To come around to an actual point here, I think we're going to see COVID responses become much more "practical" which are going to be bad news in the short term for parents, when a company can practically say "you are not as productive as a person without children and we can't afford you", which will be an absolute truth in many cases. Lawsuits will be attempted, and some might succeed, but most will fail. As someone who raised a child alone, without her mother, or an extended family from birth, you have my utmost sympathy and I wish I could say more than this: If you're not planning around your children and thinking of ways to make them invisible to your employment, you're putting them and yourself at risk. Yes, society should care, yes, you should get a break and understanding in dealing with the stress and physical reality of dealing with it, but no, capitalism won't allow for that for very long. COVID should have brought the country together but it's thus far brought us further apart. I see no sign of that fact changing.

wonderwonder 6y ago

Exactly this, there was absolutely no way to predict Covid or a complete shutdown of child care / schools. I went from happily working from home in an office with no door and my 2 young kids in elementary school while my wife commuted to her work to my kids taking online classes which require massive parent interaction, and my wife working from home at the kitchen table right outside my office with no door. We cant take the kids anywhere due to covid and older parents so they are rightfully bored and frustrated. Wife had a breakdown today from not being able to get any work done because she is constantly getting up to help the kids with school work or when school is done they automatically call out to her whenever they need anything. We are snapping at the kids for just normal kid things because we both have to work and are getting so little done. She has a massive amount of responsibility where she is the bottle neck for multiple departments as all work has to be legally approved by her. I am in a new role and essentially on conf. calls all day while still having to get software built. This sucks for everyone, but I can guarantee that as much as the childless people resent people with kids getting to slack on work time, we are paying for it in spades in other aspects of our lives. Most of all I feel bad for my kids, this is not a situation they have any control over and all they know is that things are hard for them.

bbarn 6y ago

> Basically there is no way to make any of this sustainable. It's not just child care, the response to COVID is unsustainable period. People will continue to act out and single out things like this topic, but all in all, the current solution won't get the United States through the next year without a massive economic collapse. There is no easy solution here, no magic cure, and the "let's just let the 30% who can work remote do so" is already collapsing in almost every vertical. To come around to an actual point here, I think we're going to see COVID responses become much more "practical" which are going to be bad news in the short term for parents, when a company can practically say "you are not as productive as a person without children and we can't afford you", which will be an absolute truth in many cases. Lawsuits will be attempted, and some might succeed, but most will fail. As someone who raised a child alone, without her mother, or an extended family from birth, you have my utmost sympathy and I wish I could say more than this: If you're not planning around your children and thinking of ways to make them invisible to your employment, you're putting them and yourself at risk. Yes, society should care, yes, you should get a break and understanding in dealing with the stress and physical reality of dealing with it, but no, capitalism won't allow for that for very long. COVID should have brought the country together but it's thus far brought us further apart. I see no sign of that fact changing.