7 ms·

>I'd happily trade places with one of my childless coworkers right about now. Yes, some things come with downsides. I'm sure a lot of people would also want to

>I'd happily trade places with one of my childless coworkers right about now. Yes, some things come with downsides. I'm sure a lot of people would also want to trade places with you during the happy times you have with your kids. But you can't usually get the benefits without the downsides.

satyrnein 6y ago
I think the current situation falls outside the bounds of the regular ups and downs. Most prospective parents were (reasonably) assuming school, childcare, etc would continue to exist.
- mjangle1985 6y ago
  Exactly, I very much doubt when OP was planning to have children they considered that very well established social norms that make our modern society possible (like traditional schooling and daycare) would not be an option in the future.
vmception 6y ago
Yeah, I have the most ideal bachelor penthouse and terrace, living alone during phase I lockdown, but that didn't feel ideal after 2.5 months either. I'm aware of the high chance of having a roommate/partner/children you begin to resent, and that was a useful rationalization given what nurses and police and articles were telling me. But that 5% (or maybe much greater) chance of a fulfilling live-in companion was pretty enticing too. But yes, the upsides rarely come without the downsides.
- kevstev 6y ago
  The single guys at work are actually the most eager to go back in. I think the loneliness and monotony gets to you after awhile, and most live in kind of dreary small bachelor pad type apartments. I am fortunate to have a wife and a dog and have a bit of outdoor space while also being more or less on a park with friendly neighbors- the restaurant down the street from me opened a take out window with dog treats and the minute or two of daily small talk accompanying my pup begging for a treat just went miles towards satisfying my socialization need. Its pretty much the pandemic on easy mode, and there have been moments where it has not been so easy. Tbh my wife and I have gotten a lot closer through all of this and our relationship has never been better. But obviously YMMV on that and it helps that our jobs have been stable and both our companies are doing well during this.
  - pm90 6y ago
    The single guys are doing fine. We have video games and internet dating. Living with another person, regardless of my relationship with them, is absolutely terrifying to me. We all choose the life we want because of our own individual preferences.
    - losteric 6y ago
      some* - the demographic is not a block, no more than married guys. I'm a deeply introverted single guy, but personally I'm done with this. I don't like video games or TV, and virtual meet ups are so two dimensional... my pets and plants have kept me sane but I need real people again.
      - wolco 6y ago
        Have you joined second life yet?
      - monksy 6y ago
        I closed down my meetup group because of the virutal meetups. (No sense in paying meetup.com for anything when the virtual meetups aren't doing well) What I've been sucessful with is limited gatherings on a weekly basis. (That's to limit who I see, when, and if something does come up you can responsibly disclose all of your ~partners~ contacts for the last week.
    - vmception 6y ago
      Agreed, I live alone because I want space. A lot of space. Had a fulfilling long term relationship before, and not very interested in that life. Internet dating has been pretty excellent as the priorities there have seemed to change as well, along with everything just being slower. There is less distraction and competition for attention, it feels like. Video dates were never the move, nice try though. The thin possibly of a great collaborative partner that has a matching libido is enticing after a few months of the extreme contrary. At this point I just try to keep my own R0 to <1, if I happen to get it or are around more than 1 person/group in a two week time period.
    - 6y ago
deleted 6y ago
[deleted]

satyrnein 6y ago

I think the current situation falls outside the bounds of the regular ups and downs. Most prospective parents were (reasonably) assuming school, childcare, etc would continue to exist.

mjangle1985 6y ago
Exactly, I very much doubt when OP was planning to have children they considered that very well established social norms that make our modern society possible (like traditional schooling and daycare) would not be an option in the future.

vmception 6y ago

Yeah, I have the most ideal bachelor penthouse and terrace, living alone during phase I lockdown, but that didn't feel ideal after 2.5 months either. I'm aware of the high chance of having a roommate/partner/children you begin to resent, and that was a useful rationalization given what nurses and police and articles were telling me. But that 5% (or maybe much greater) chance of a fulfilling live-in companion was pretty enticing too. But yes, the upsides rarely come without the downsides.

kevstev 6y ago
The single guys at work are actually the most eager to go back in. I think the loneliness and monotony gets to you after awhile, and most live in kind of dreary small bachelor pad type apartments. I am fortunate to have a wife and a dog and have a bit of outdoor space while also being more or less on a park with friendly neighbors- the restaurant down the street from me opened a take out window with dog treats and the minute or two of daily small talk accompanying my pup begging for a treat just went miles towards satisfying my socialization need. Its pretty much the pandemic on easy mode, and there have been moments where it has not been so easy. Tbh my wife and I have gotten a lot closer through all of this and our relationship has never been better. But obviously YMMV on that and it helps that our jobs have been stable and both our companies are doing well during this.
- pm90 6y ago
  The single guys are doing fine. We have video games and internet dating. Living with another person, regardless of my relationship with them, is absolutely terrifying to me. We all choose the life we want because of our own individual preferences.
  - losteric 6y ago
    some* - the demographic is not a block, no more than married guys. I'm a deeply introverted single guy, but personally I'm done with this. I don't like video games or TV, and virtual meet ups are so two dimensional... my pets and plants have kept me sane but I need real people again.
    - wolco 6y ago
      Have you joined second life yet?
    - monksy 6y ago
      I closed down my meetup group because of the virutal meetups. (No sense in paying meetup.com for anything when the virtual meetups aren't doing well) What I've been sucessful with is limited gatherings on a weekly basis. (That's to limit who I see, when, and if something does come up you can responsibly disclose all of your ~partners~ contacts for the last week.
  - vmception 6y ago
    Agreed, I live alone because I want space. A lot of space. Had a fulfilling long term relationship before, and not very interested in that life. Internet dating has been pretty excellent as the priorities there have seemed to change as well, along with everything just being slower. There is less distraction and competition for attention, it feels like. Video dates were never the move, nice try though. The thin possibly of a great collaborative partner that has a matching libido is enticing after a few months of the extreme contrary. At this point I just try to keep my own R0 to <1, if I happen to get it or are around more than 1 person/group in a two week time period.
  - 6y ago

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]