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Have small elementary age kids. It’s rough. 8-10 interruptions the first couple hours of work. Then meltdown over being hungry. Then afternoon interruptio
by treeman79 6y ago
Have small elementary age kids.
It’s rough. 8-10 interruptions the first couple hours of work.
Then meltdown over being hungry.
Then afternoon interruptions because they are bored. Lots of crappy reasons, but also because they want me to spend time with them.
Also dealing with my own chronic illness. I was managing to cope/hide before Covid.
Between it all is a sense of guilt of not getting enough done for work and not supporting kids enough.
Other day I got a note under the door asking if I would draw a cat. Man talk about breaking heart.
- codemac 6y agoThat sounds incredibly difficult. I hope you find ways to cope. I hope you get support from your company, or more than you are getting now.
- treeman79 6y agoOn Job #3 since being injured. Chronic conditions ebb and flow, sometimes I’m a great employee and sometimes I’m horrible. Hell sometimes I can’t even see the computer. Turns out people/companies get tired of it after awhile. So limiting meetings and working solo when I can on large tricky projects is how I’m rolling. I can solve stuff most can’t. I just need a lot of time to do it.
- eyesbear 6y agoDid your kid like the cat you drew?
- treeman79 6y agoVery much
- pnw_hazor 6y agoThanks for sharing the cat sketch bit. It reminded me of some great times. I am a recent empty nester. I don't like it much.
- treeman79 6y agoCat in question https://ibb.co/ZVfjzB3 https://ibb.co/ZVfjzB3
- nazgulsenpai 6y agoHey, that's pretty good!
- treeman79 6y agoThanks!
- rdtwo 6y agoCat made my day the rest of this thread is a dumpster fire
- _coveredInBees 6y agoCouldn't agree more with you. It's been pretty eye opening to me just how toxic the general dude-bro workaholic culture in Silicon Valley / tech is. There is just astounding levels of lack of empathy amongst so many commenters here. So glad I never moved to the West coast when I had the chance. Instead I get to live in a nice spacious house with a half-acre lot, a fenced in yard to enjoy with my kids and dog, and work at a great small-business/startup in ML with great colleagues, excellent work-life balance, and the main company motto being - Don't hire assholes, and don't work for assholes. It's been working fantastic for several years now!
- zrail 6y agoExcellent cat A++++++++ would pet. Agree with sibling, this is the only good subthread in this trash fire.
- klmadfejno 6y agoThis cat is so high quality that it changes my reaction of the situation from empathetic and concerned to optimistic and impressed. I think there is nothing heartbreaking about your situation if you're dropping cats of this caliber to anonymous door notes.
- QuercusMax 6y agoIt's not much better with older kids either; I have 3 teens with mental health issues (depression/anxiety/migraines/ADHD) which have gotten worse with 6 months sheltering-in-place.
- treeman79 6y agoMe and kids have adhd and migraines. Migraines for them have improved greatly since they are away from harsh lighting.
- ChrisMarshallNY 6y ago{{QuercusMax}} Know your pain. Hang in there. You're doing good work.
- seattletech 6y agoYeah. Dealing with a teen right now who feels completely isolated. Hanging in there.
- mac1175 6y agoI have a tween with ADHD, dyslexia, and anxiety. I spend a lot of check in times with her because last school year's remote learning was rough.
- MacsHeadroom 6y agoMove to an area where you can afford a house on one income or two half incomes and stop working so much. If you want to raise a family, raise one. That's your choice. If you want other people to subsidize your productivity and/or income so you can live beyond your means in an area where you can't afford to raise a family, then that's a big ask.
- woah 6y agoWe all subsidize those who live in rural and suburban areas, whether through direct subsidies for highways and internet access, or hidden subsidies like their increased impact on global warming because of all their driving. It's better for the planet and better for people to live in urban areas, and the only reason that rural areas are cheaper is that they don't have to deal with the shortage of housing caused by urban zoning restrictions. We all suffer from long time urban homeowners who won't allow increased density so that they can leach off everyone else's economic productivity. It's time for permissive nationwide by-right zoning standards.
- wrkronmiller 6y agoThis is a bad take. COVID is an exceptional and temporary situation. Everyone has highs and lows (great successes, terrible personal problems/tragedies/etc...) throughout their careers. The only difference between this circumstance and any other is that it's impacting many people at once. If, for example, you got COVID and were put on a ventilator for a month, how would you react to finding out that you had lost your job? Would you want to take it on the chin and down-size, or would you be upset that your employer didn't show the basic decency to (at a bare minimum) re-hire you once you were recovered?
- avh02 6y agoI'm just sad you think there's decency in being rehired in a situation like that, you shouldn't even be fired to start with! Times like this I'm glad I didn't pick the US as a place to live.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- bladegash 6y agoSingle dad to a 4 and 7 year old, so I feel you man. In addition to the things you mentioned, the extra messes to clean, dishes to do, trash to take out, cooking, etc. can become really overwhelming. Between trying to juggle it all, not only feel like I’m letting down my work, but my kids as well. They don’t understand why I can’t spend as much time with them while I’m working, nor is it their fault that I’m so much more tired during the times when I would have spent time with them previously. You aren’t alone man and we’re all doing the best we can with a really tough situation. Try to be as kind to yourself as possible during all this and don’t be afraid to ask find solutions that ease some of the burden.
- throw554324 6y agoTaking care of elderly parents can be equally rough.