FWIW, in the Bay Area at least, there have always been companies with fairly toxic cultures that impute "shame" on people who go home early or choose family eve

FWIW, in the Bay Area at least, there have always been companies with fairly toxic cultures that impute "shame" on people who go home early or choose family events over company events. Because technical people have generally (although not universally) employable at multiple companies, it was has been possible to leave a company once you figured out they were 'dinging' you for spending too much time with your family. It is also why I found the rationale for leaving of "going to spend more time with my family" somewhat painful as it implies that company would not support that choice while still employing you. (and yes, I know its a euphemism more than an actual reason but still). One need look no further than the "controversy" over parental leave to understand that American companies have a fairly broken value system when it comes to their employee's well being.