7 ms·
Give it another 6 years. 13 years is when the monster comes out.
by throwaway_dcnt 6y ago
Give it another 6 years. 13 years is when the monster comes out.
- royletron 6y agoIT GETS WORSE?!?!?!?!?
- dr_dshiv 6y agoI'm always so stunned by this. Young kids are so hard, but they say teens are the hardest! 11 years old is so nice. You can still cuddle, they like to be read to and mostly listen the 3rd time you say it.
- bad_user 6y agoWait another year or two, when the judgemental rebel comes out.
- mumblemumble 6y agoI've only got young kids, so I have only experienced tired and frustrated. But even our bad days only last a day, tops. What I haven't experienced, but do observe in colleagues with teenagers, is utter despondency and emotional collapse due to a cloud of rancor that's been hanging over the family for weeks on end.
- markus_zhang 6y agoTeenages tend to revolt against their parents no?
- phkahler 6y agoYep. People like to think we are more sophisticated, but we have built-in animal behaviors. Teens revolting and making their own way is a big one. Hard for parents but important for the kids. I still find it weird how hard wired some things are.
- faitswulff 6y agoI’ve heard (can’t remember the source now) that the rebellious teen phase is a cultural phenomenon. I find it believable. In general, ascribing human behaviors to biology is shaky science. Ah, here we go: > Although Westerners may expect from adolescents a certain level of delinquency, antisocial behavior and sometimes violence, cross-cultural research demonstrates adolescent behavior and experience is actually quite variable across the world. Adolescent misbehavior does not appear to be a cultural universal. https://hraf.yale.edu/are-teens-always-troublemakers-cross-culturally-considering-bad-behavior-in-adolescents/ https://hraf.yale.edu/are-teens-always-troublemakers-cross-c...
- untog 6y agoI agree that ascribing human behaviours to (particularly animal) biology is shaky. But the changes going on in teenage years (ie puberty) lead me to think teenage rebellion isn’t just cultural.
- ashtonkem 6y agoThe hormonal changes are hard wired, but certain behaviors aren’t. As an interesting corollary, did you know that the symptoms experienced by schizophrenics is extremely culturally dependent? Here in America the voices heard by someone with schizophrenia often urge violence, but in other countries (India is the one I’ve heard) they say nice, positive things. Same condition, culturally dependent outcomes.
- 6y ago
- mmm_grayons 6y agoI didn't, nor did many of my friends. I think that's just a stereotype.
- cellular 6y agoSame here and same for my old kids.
- irrational 6y agoIt depends. My wife did not rebel at all. From the way her parents, siblings, etc. describe her, she was a model person from childhood to adulthood. But, our children have taken more after me - wild, rebellious, etc. This has been really hard on my wife since it has been so antithetical to how she was growing up.
- amenod 6y agoIt mostly depends on the parents, not on children. Teens are finally independent and strong enough to be able to revolt - if they do or not is in many cases just a reflection if their parents treat them as equals or not. Before you answer "but they are not equal...", please think.
- alexbanks 6y agoCame to post. Teenagers aren't the totally irrational monsters television/media makes them out to me, necessarily. As one could guess, they're very much a reflection of their parents' investment in their emotional health and growth. Purely anecdotally, none of the children I've been around that had thoughtful/respectful/logical parents have gone through the mindless rebellion phase - they've all been very level headed reasonable people in their teens. On the flipside, all of the children of mindless authoritarian parents have gone kinda wild pretty much as soon as they developed the agency to do so. It's kind of sad that (at least in the US) we've painted teenagers as some kind of psychotic monster that needs tamed.
- justinclift 6y agoYeah. My early years (up to age 12) were ok. After that though was very... not good. One memory really stands out though, from about a week (rough guess) before I turned 13. It was my mother saying she was dreading my 13th birthday, as that's when things go bad. It completely surprised me, as I hadn't thought anything special about it. However from (literally) my 13th birthday onwards, life became hell. On the day. My mother turned into an absolute control freak, full on, with no-let up. For years. If I didn't do something she wanted, in exactly the way she wanted (generally with no explanation), it was name calling, taking away of <whatever she knew I felt was important>, and doing whatever she could to belittle and degrade me try try and "teach me a lesson". There are no words to describe the mental abuse from that day onwards. It never stopped, and there was no way of getting it to stop. I eventually dropped out of school (age ~15), lived on the streets for a while, then went to live with my grandmother. All because some idiot bitch thought teenagers were the problem. :( :( :( Please, don't take this approach with your kids.
- 6y ago
- evo_9 6y agoYeah they literally stop listening to you and usually do the opposite. I was no different. I heard my mom complaining about her friends kid getting his ear pierced and she looked at me and said ‘never while you are living under my roof!’. My dad immediately realized the error but it was too late. I had never given it a thought before and maybe even thought it was stupid. After dinner I literally drove to the mall and got my ear pierced and went straight home and paraded around our house. I honestly don't think I had a choice, my brain insisted on doing it.