Balloon Theory of Quantum Collapse

De Broglie theory of matter waves suggests a particle is guided by a "pilot wave". Aspect did an experiment that claimed entanglement collapse occurs at distances faster than light can travel. Maudlin ("Quantum Non-Locality and Relativity") discusses super-luminal particles (tachyons) and discusses why, if they existed in general, they would undermine a lot of theory. Consider a balloon. Starting at a point it expands when inflated. A puncture relieves stress all over the balloon very rapidly. Now consider the point of entanglement of two particles. Assume that there is a "balloon-like surface" that connects the two particles no matter how far apart. Observation of one of the particles causes the entanglement to collapse into a definite state (aka, the balloon pops). Now assume that super-luminal "stress relief" occurs ONLY along the surface of the balloon. Then the other particle would also collapse into the same definite state. So the De Broglie "pilot wave" is now a "balloon wave" in entanglement. The super-luminal assumption only occurs "on the balloon surface", a surface that only exists while the particles are entangled.