I went to therapy because of this. When I chose the therapist I focussed on choosing one that has a proper website and appears to use modern methods. Actually i

I went to therapy because of this. When I chose the therapist I focussed on choosing one that has a proper website and appears to use modern methods. Actually it was also the therapist's opinion that certain behaviours made sense at some point. In fact the therapy method didn't even require making a formal diagnosis because all these diagnoses are just summaries of statistics and not necessarily match the black box inside our head. Instead after the 3rd or 4th session I got a questionnaire in which I had to fill in what should be improved and what the goals should be. Also of course there was some kind of homework after each session. Usually the therapist then asked me how I could accomplish that goal. Then I came up with something and the therapist also told me "you are an expert for yourself, you know this best". That was both really surprising and encouraging. The therapy actually really improved my quality of life tenfold. I'm still wondering whether it was the method (Systemic therapy) or just the overall setup that made it so successful.