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Hang in there. Been through it myself and it was an awful experience. However, nearly four years later and everything has changed in my life for the better. Don

Hang in there. Been through it myself and it was an awful experience. However, nearly four years later and everything has changed in my life for the better. Don’t allow her to make you feel like you have no rights or role within your daughter’s life, take some time to determine how important staying involved is to you, and if it is important, don’t give up.

helsinki 6y ago
Thank you - this is helpful to read. I didn’t think anything could hurt the mind and heart so much.
- bladegash 6y ago
  There's nothing else like it and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. That being said, you always have a choice with how you perceive your circumstances, the story/narrative you tell to yourself about what happened, and further how you use all this to create a new life for you and your daughter. Take time to grieve the loss(es), but if you get a bit stuck, don't hesitate to ask for help (e.g., from a therapist, doctor, minister, friends, family, etc.). Someone shared with me a metaphor during my divorce which I found helpful, so who knows, maybe it will help you as well: Imagine your house being destroyed by a natural disaster. It sucks, you have to start over, and you have to cope with a lot of loss. Eventually, you get to the point where you're ready to build a new house. Only this time, you get to pick out what the new house looks like. You get to pick the decorations, the color of the paint, the fixtures, etc. It may not seem like it when you're in the immediate aftermath of the house being destroyed, but eventually, you build a house that is exactly the way you wanted/needed it, and maybe wouldn't have done otherwise if not for the natural disaster. It took hard work, pain, and perseverance, but you ended up even better than where you started. No one else did it for you. You made that happen.

helsinki 6y ago

Thank you - this is helpful to read. I didn’t think anything could hurt the mind and heart so much.

bladegash 6y ago
There's nothing else like it and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. That being said, you always have a choice with how you perceive your circumstances, the story/narrative you tell to yourself about what happened, and further how you use all this to create a new life for you and your daughter. Take time to grieve the loss(es), but if you get a bit stuck, don't hesitate to ask for help (e.g., from a therapist, doctor, minister, friends, family, etc.). Someone shared with me a metaphor during my divorce which I found helpful, so who knows, maybe it will help you as well: Imagine your house being destroyed by a natural disaster. It sucks, you have to start over, and you have to cope with a lot of loss. Eventually, you get to the point where you're ready to build a new house. Only this time, you get to pick out what the new house looks like. You get to pick the decorations, the color of the paint, the fixtures, etc. It may not seem like it when you're in the immediate aftermath of the house being destroyed, but eventually, you build a house that is exactly the way you wanted/needed it, and maybe wouldn't have done otherwise if not for the natural disaster. It took hard work, pain, and perseverance, but you ended up even better than where you started. No one else did it for you. You made that happen.