Is this a joke? Just wanted to check because my own shocking results show that we're urinating all over ourselves and without doubt many droplets reach those on

Is this a joke? Just wanted to check because my own shocking results show that we're urinating all over ourselves and without doubt many droplets reach those on neighboring urinals. I bought a nice pair of wool designer shorts by D.gnak $250 and for whatever reason they have the incredible property of causing water to bead up in a way I've never seen before. While wearing them one day, I went to wash my hands and realized I was covered in 20-30 beads of liquid. Yes after using the urinal. I was horrified, soaped up a paper towel and cleaned it. I thought it was a one off event but soon realized it is IMPOSSIBLE no matter how carefully, softly, and at what angle one fires at the urinal to actually get less than 20 beads of pee on oneself. I tried for months, shocked every time. With any other type of clothing the beads don't form but the same liquid is instead instantly absorbed into the fibers.