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When I was growing up, my parents adhered to Douglas Adams' rules of technology (and I think many still do today): 1. Anything that is in the world when you’re

When I was growing up, my parents adhered to Douglas Adams' rules of technology (and I think many still do today): 1. Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

neilv 6y ago
I think that's a clever bit by Douglas Adams, and there's some truth to it in some contexts, but I hate to see it voted to the top on HN specifically. The reason is that our industry right now doesn't make a secret about widespread, accepted ageism. And a common talking-point defense of it is "not learning new technologies".
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
- tempestn 6y ago
  I think it's clever because we all (at least those of us over 35) recognize this tendency in our own thinking, at least to some extent. It certainly doesn't mean we reject or are incapable of learning new technologies. It's more about introspection—realizing for instance that the fact I have little use for TikTok is more about me than it is about TikTok. Personally I don't feel it needs to have any ageist connotation.
  - blub 6y ago
    It's not that simple. A lot of technology today is manipulating or is spying on its users.
ARandomerDude 6y ago
Downvote for trashing your parents.
- yjftsjthsd-h 6y ago
  Observing that someone's behavior matches a pattern is not "trashing" them.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
r77ruuddj 6y ago
It's a good sound bite but I don't think it really reflects the reality of parenting. I know reality is that helicopter parents have taken over but I'm a light-touch parent. To me parents helicopter because they're bad at politics. When my daughter had trouble with boys or tried drugs I knew immediately because I've never given her something I couldn't compromise at an unnoticeable level. On the other hand, I've never used this to force her hand. If I know my daughter is being bullied or having trouble with a boy I wait for her to come to me or I make unassuming statements that give her the opportunity to decide if she thinks she should open up to me. Obviously if she got into something like meth the situation would be different, but in the case of things like weed or vaping I focus on topics that let her feel in control of her life because the point of parenting is imo to teach our kids to handle themselves when we're gone. For example, when she went through a weed phase I focused on noticing her grades had been slipping while stressing that I wouldn't be worrying if that hadn't been the case. The result is that she still smokes weed sometimes with friends but she's made a point to bring her grades up because she thinks it'll curb my concerns and convince me to give her more agency (which I do). To her credit, she seems to genuinely be trying to balance her peer group against the pressures I push on her and so as long as I don't think she's on a path that's destructive in the long haul I try to respect her choices. Focusing on things like social trends or teen-tech is the wrong angle imo because the truth is that money is freedom and money comes from carefully considered action. Kids make mistakes and get hurt in hard ways sometimes, I hate that but it's the world we live in. So as long as my kid is chasing money and grades I don't mind giving her the freedom to make mistakes and get hurt (even if I hate it).
banmeagaindan2 6y ago
I was set with a modifier of -50. On some days -150.

neilv 6y ago

I think that's a clever bit by Douglas Adams, and there's some truth to it in some contexts, but I hate to see it voted to the top on HN specifically. The reason is that our industry right now doesn't make a secret about widespread, accepted ageism. And a common talking-point defense of it is "not learning new technologies".

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
tempestn 6y ago
I think it's clever because we all (at least those of us over 35) recognize this tendency in our own thinking, at least to some extent. It certainly doesn't mean we reject or are incapable of learning new technologies. It's more about introspection—realizing for instance that the fact I have little use for TikTok is more about me than it is about TikTok. Personally I don't feel it needs to have any ageist connotation.
- blub 6y ago
  It's not that simple. A lot of technology today is manipulating or is spying on its users.

ARandomerDude 6y ago

Downvote for trashing your parents.

yjftsjthsd-h 6y ago
Observing that someone's behavior matches a pattern is not "trashing" them.
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]

r77ruuddj 6y ago

It's a good sound bite but I don't think it really reflects the reality of parenting. I know reality is that helicopter parents have taken over but I'm a light-touch parent. To me parents helicopter because they're bad at politics. When my daughter had trouble with boys or tried drugs I knew immediately because I've never given her something I couldn't compromise at an unnoticeable level. On the other hand, I've never used this to force her hand. If I know my daughter is being bullied or having trouble with a boy I wait for her to come to me or I make unassuming statements that give her the opportunity to decide if she thinks she should open up to me. Obviously if she got into something like meth the situation would be different, but in the case of things like weed or vaping I focus on topics that let her feel in control of her life because the point of parenting is imo to teach our kids to handle themselves when we're gone. For example, when she went through a weed phase I focused on noticing her grades had been slipping while stressing that I wouldn't be worrying if that hadn't been the case. The result is that she still smokes weed sometimes with friends but she's made a point to bring her grades up because she thinks it'll curb my concerns and convince me to give her more agency (which I do). To her credit, she seems to genuinely be trying to balance her peer group against the pressures I push on her and so as long as I don't think she's on a path that's destructive in the long haul I try to respect her choices. Focusing on things like social trends or teen-tech is the wrong angle imo because the truth is that money is freedom and money comes from carefully considered action. Kids make mistakes and get hurt in hard ways sometimes, I hate that but it's the world we live in. So as long as my kid is chasing money and grades I don't mind giving her the freedom to make mistakes and get hurt (even if I hate it).

banmeagaindan2 6y ago

I was set with a modifier of -50. On some days -150.