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There seems to be some new culture where it’s OK or even celebrated to answer to good intentions with snarky hostility. If the advice isn’t to your liking, let

There seems to be some new culture where it’s OK or even celebrated to answer to good intentions with snarky hostility. If the advice isn’t to your liking, let it slide right off you. It will not make you feel better if you berate someone who’s ultimately trying to help you.

jowsie 6y ago
In my experience the person giving the unwanted, heard a million times before advice isn't doing it because they actually want to help. They just want to feel good about themselves.
- username90 6y ago
  How do you know, is that why you give advice? I think people really want to help so they give the advice they know. However since most humans are pretty simple and similar the advice they give will usually be the same advice everyone else gives.
  - Rilfeu 6y ago
    I can tell you with certainty, many people, at least people close to me didn't have good intentions when giving advice. Or even if they did have good intentions, they told me the completely wrong things. When somebody tells you things like this, you feel like that person didn't take time to understand how you are feeling, they didn't consider what to tell you to actually help. This can amplify your feeling of loneliness and helplessness. It was very hard for me to accept that I cannot count on anyone in my life to help me and that the only person I can rely on in my life is me. These situations are very, very hard to navigate if you didn't go through these issues yourself, so better just not give any advice and just try to listen. I even had people tell me outright dangerous things, like telling me to stop taking medication. People who never had depression, had no contact with psychology except in high school told me this kind of advice. Even though I am certain some of the people who told me this wanted the best of me, quitting meds can have a wide array of unexpected effects, and even if the meds are not effective, this is still definitely a bad advice. Not to mention that meds actually helped me a lot.
Rilfeu 6y ago
It is not the point of this. The point of this comic is to try to make people who never had mental health issues understand how it feels from our point of view when you give your clueless and tone deaf advice. Would you not be at least a bit annoyed if somebody told you to "just think positively" when you are drowning? To you it might sound ridiculous to make this analogy, as you don't see a person literally drowning when you see a depressed person. But to us it can feel exactly like this.

jowsie 6y ago

In my experience the person giving the unwanted, heard a million times before advice isn't doing it because they actually want to help. They just want to feel good about themselves.

username90 6y ago
How do you know, is that why you give advice? I think people really want to help so they give the advice they know. However since most humans are pretty simple and similar the advice they give will usually be the same advice everyone else gives.
- Rilfeu 6y ago
  I can tell you with certainty, many people, at least people close to me didn't have good intentions when giving advice. Or even if they did have good intentions, they told me the completely wrong things. When somebody tells you things like this, you feel like that person didn't take time to understand how you are feeling, they didn't consider what to tell you to actually help. This can amplify your feeling of loneliness and helplessness. It was very hard for me to accept that I cannot count on anyone in my life to help me and that the only person I can rely on in my life is me. These situations are very, very hard to navigate if you didn't go through these issues yourself, so better just not give any advice and just try to listen. I even had people tell me outright dangerous things, like telling me to stop taking medication. People who never had depression, had no contact with psychology except in high school told me this kind of advice. Even though I am certain some of the people who told me this wanted the best of me, quitting meds can have a wide array of unexpected effects, and even if the meds are not effective, this is still definitely a bad advice. Not to mention that meds actually helped me a lot.

Rilfeu 6y ago

It is not the point of this. The point of this comic is to try to make people who never had mental health issues understand how it feels from our point of view when you give your clueless and tone deaf advice. Would you not be at least a bit annoyed if somebody told you to "just think positively" when you are drowning? To you it might sound ridiculous to make this analogy, as you don't see a person literally drowning when you see a depressed person. But to us it can feel exactly like this.