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Six months ago a poster here lamented that they were rejected by Google and Facebook. That it would take 2-3 years for them to make $250k. That everyone they se

Six months ago a poster here lamented that they were rejected by Google and Facebook. That it would take 2-3 years for them to make $250k. That everyone they see on IG is getting to go to Hawaii on offsites while their employer won't even pay to send them to a conference in Seattle. It is the kind of thing I can understand. Everyone, at every income level has problems that are very real to them. At the same time, I look at their complaints in light of what someone in poverty deals with everyday and their complaints are pitiful.

nitrogen 6y ago
I look at their complaints in light of what someone in poverty deals with everyday and their complaints are pitiful. I agree with the need for perspective. The well off really need to know what the rest of the world is like, so they make decisions that take their effects on others into account. The disadvantaged really need to know what the path to being well off looks like, so they can apply their voices and efforts to the places that will make a difference. I've been in that place where a rise in the price of ramen or gasoline could make it impossible to pay rent. I've also been fortunate to find myself in a much better place. However, we don't gain much by forbidding any displeasure for all but the worst sufferers. Failing to get a job at FAANG doesn't magically move that money into the hands of people who desperately need it. Being set back in one's own fortunate life still sucks. We all need empathy at times, nobody should have a monopoly on empathy. Mutual empathy builds bridges, monopolized empathy builds resentment.
- notabee 6y ago
  You have a good point about empathy. No one wants to feel unseen, or like their problems don't matter. The real thing that is required is that people have (most importantly imho) the willingness and also the imagination to think about the difficulties others must face. No one's life is completely pain free, and we could sidetrack into some Buddhist thought based on that. But, objective differences remain. Someone can drown in 6 inches of water as well as by falling off a boat in the middle of the ocean, and be just as dead, but it takes a lot more work to get out of the middle of the ocean. I think that people need to feel a sense of agency, self control, and meaning. That sometimes means they feel the need to greatly downplay the role of good fortune in their current life circumstances, and play up the mistakes of others to explain others' situations. It's an extremely common cognitive distortion, and it causes a real sickness in society.

nitrogen 6y ago

I look at their complaints in light of what someone in poverty deals with everyday and their complaints are pitiful. I agree with the need for perspective. The well off really need to know what the rest of the world is like, so they make decisions that take their effects on others into account. The disadvantaged really need to know what the path to being well off looks like, so they can apply their voices and efforts to the places that will make a difference. I've been in that place where a rise in the price of ramen or gasoline could make it impossible to pay rent. I've also been fortunate to find myself in a much better place. However, we don't gain much by forbidding any displeasure for all but the worst sufferers. Failing to get a job at FAANG doesn't magically move that money into the hands of people who desperately need it. Being set back in one's own fortunate life still sucks. We all need empathy at times, nobody should have a monopoly on empathy. Mutual empathy builds bridges, monopolized empathy builds resentment.

notabee 6y ago
You have a good point about empathy. No one wants to feel unseen, or like their problems don't matter. The real thing that is required is that people have (most importantly imho) the willingness and also the imagination to think about the difficulties others must face. No one's life is completely pain free, and we could sidetrack into some Buddhist thought based on that. But, objective differences remain. Someone can drown in 6 inches of water as well as by falling off a boat in the middle of the ocean, and be just as dead, but it takes a lot more work to get out of the middle of the ocean. I think that people need to feel a sense of agency, self control, and meaning. That sometimes means they feel the need to greatly downplay the role of good fortune in their current life circumstances, and play up the mistakes of others to explain others' situations. It's an extremely common cognitive distortion, and it causes a real sickness in society.