Ask HN: finding a laptop in 2011 with the whole set of ports?

Today while giving a hand to an friend who wants to regain access to some of his old data, I realized that I depended on various cables and peripherals to try to rescue his devices, that I could run into a similar problems because I no longer had a "rescue laptop" Years ago, I had a rescue machine, which stayed idle most of the time, but could become quite needed. It's the kind of machine that : - runs an old linux distro to make xp/linux hd bootable again with grub/lilo/whatever - is used to grab network data with tcpdump from some equipment in the next room - tests if IR remote controllers actually work, - serves as the last resort to try to read the floppy disk where the unique copy of some historical file has been stored - connects to the printer in parallel mode to put the printer online when the jetdirect is down for some reason - can be used to run diagnosis on serial ports - still has a modem so it can serve to replicate the problem a guy still on dialup is reporting. You see the kind of machine - a lot of ports, most of which are no longer used (floppy, firewire...) but come in handy when you need them. My googling did not return such a machine, so I guess I'll have to get a second hand. So can anyone recommend me a laptop or a tablet with : firewire/rj45 (ideally 2x) /rj11/serial/irda/parallel/floppy/dvd/vga/tvout/wifi/bluetooth Tablet a plus (because it will be easy to store/carry when needed) It's just a laptop to be put in a drawer until a specific problem happens where it will be needed (3rd call this week, the 2 others were a firmware upgrade on my modem and sniffing ethernet data to find out the correct tos values)