In Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg (nice summary: https://medium.com/s/please-advise/the-essential-guide-to-difficult-conversations-41f736e63ccf h

In Nonviolent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg (nice summary: https://medium.com/s/please-advise/the-essential-guide-to-difficult-conversations-41f736e63ccf https://medium.com/s/please-advise/the-essential-guide-to-di...), instilling guilt (and shame) is considered to be a violent way of communicating. First, I had a problem with this definition of violence. Then I saw it fits the framework of violence: "either you do as we say, or we will intentionally make you suffer". I say "we" because, in many cases, it is not a single individual but a community or any social group. Jewish and Catholic cultures are famous for their guilt-driven development approach to upbringing: https://thetylt.com/culture/catholic-guilt-or-jewish-guilt https://thetylt.com/culture/catholic-guilt-or-jewish-guilt To be clear, guilt sometimes makes sense as a deterrent. But let's not use it lightly.