The final section of the post was a Java port and size comparison. It also noted that while it was smaller, I simply don't want to use Java and the minute any e

The final section of the post was a Java port and size comparison. It also noted that while it was smaller, I simply don't want to use Java and the minute any external dependency is added (such as for CLI parsing) I'm right back to needing R8 for minifying. I removed that part since the post was long enough.