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Those are both pretty condescending. Convincing someone is the same as correcting a math problem, work through the chain of reasoning until you find the error.
by throwaway316943 6y ago
Those are both pretty condescending. Convincing someone is the same as correcting a math problem, work through the chain of reasoning until you find the error. The problem is you need to establish trust and good will to do this. Building rapport first and agreeing that you will both act in good faith before going through the reasoning. Just saying “you’re right” and “that’s great” are pretty weak attempts and will be seen as patronizing more often than not.
- darth_avocado 6y agoYou're assuming people are reasonable. They're not most of the times.
- didibus 6y agoOut of context they might appear condescending. The reason I have more than one is different ones are appropriate in different contexts. Basically, "you're wrong" is dismissive of the other person's intelligence. That's why I want to avoid it. So when someone is saying something I mostly agree with, but I just want to expand on it, instead of saying "but" or "not quite" or "that's not it", I will say "yes, and". Because I recon that's very much what I think as well with just a few minor additions. If someone has an idea and I think there are better ideas, I won't say, "that's dumb", or "no", I will say, "oh that's a good idea, can I propose one too?" Because that's what I want to express, like good job with that idea, nothing against it except I'd like us to consider if this other one might be better, which it might not be. Etc.