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I think it's important to also reframe what extraordinary even means. Many people are comparing themselves to the most privileged of backgrounds - where they we

I think it's important to also reframe what extraordinary even means. Many people are comparing themselves to the most privileged of backgrounds - where they were at the top from birth and only had to get a bit higher. I'm considered extraordinary in comparison to the place I grew up - just because of my background and where I am now. On top of this - I am wary of being singly great at something. Living in Silicon Valley has reinforced this hard. I'm obviously comparing myself (unfairly) to people who are incredibly well compensated, maybe with some bullshit job title, and so forth. I've learned that - usually - those people are fucking terrible at everything else but that one thing they do. (Sometimes I'm not even sure what that one they do good at is - kiss ass?) I'm talking really bad at everything else. They might be an excellent programmer and think up some fancy architecture or whatever - but they don't know how to install an app and follow some directions of their phone without some hand holding. Could they even build a computer from parts? Nah. Change oil in their car? It ain't happening in a million years. COOK!? Sorry - I only order out, my nanny cooks for the family, eat company food, or put pizza rolls in the oven. Take care of my kids and be an inspiring role model?! No - no, sorry, I didn't sign up for that... I had kids because I was bored after my second startup. Children aren't my passion! Extraordinary usually requires compromise and I'm not one to compromise. I tend to look at things a bit like: I could be first place in one thing or 2nd in everything.

dkarl 6y ago
Practically speaking, being adequate at everything is as overwhelming as being great at everything. Different people have different things they consider essential. Some people consider self-defense essential; I would put sewing higher on the list. Overseeing a group of children seems like a fundamental skill, but I will never have the opportunity to learn it until the first time I need it. I don't have the genetics to sing, and I don't enjoy playing a musical instrument enough to make the hundreds of hours of practice worthwhile. Cutting my hair also has a learning process with unacceptable costs. Basic social dancing: I took the classes, but they didn't stick. Bushcrafting. Haskell. Fixing wiring in a house. Leveling ground. Driving a standard transmission. (I did it once twenty years ago, but presumably I could not do it again without instruction.) Sharpening knives? I use my kitchen knives every day, but the guy at the farmer's market does a perfect job for practically no money. Playing bridge: I don't even know why my brain thinks this is a fundamental skill. I don't know anybody who plays bridge. But, irrationally, it feels like one of the more important things separating me from being James Bond. Ultimately you have to pick a small subset even of the basics, and I have a hard time seeing that big a difference between the realistic approach of learning a few things that are particularly important to you and not learning anything at all outside your profession. Sure, it makes sense to put effort into the things that are important to you. I know plenty about cooking, for example. But I still lack the skills to produce or maintain 97% of the things that are essential for my complicated daily life. Is there a big difference between 99% and 97%? Or even between 97% and 90%? But now I'm thinking about sewing again. Someday....
shoes_for_thee 6y ago
“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” Robert A. Heinlein
- ZephyrBlu 6y ago
  I would love to be able to do all those things. However, time is finite and so it's inevitable that you have to sacrifice some things.
  - shoes_for_thee 6y ago
    Yeah, I don't know how to change a diaper.
ZephyrBlu 6y ago
> Many people are comparing themselves to the most privileged of backgrounds - where they were at the top from birth and only had to get a bit higher. I'm considered extraordinary in comparison to the place I grew up - just because of my background and where I am now This is why I'm often envious of successful people, especially in the tech world. They just don't seem to get how privileged they were _from birth_.

dkarl 6y ago

Practically speaking, being adequate at everything is as overwhelming as being great at everything. Different people have different things they consider essential. Some people consider self-defense essential; I would put sewing higher on the list. Overseeing a group of children seems like a fundamental skill, but I will never have the opportunity to learn it until the first time I need it. I don't have the genetics to sing, and I don't enjoy playing a musical instrument enough to make the hundreds of hours of practice worthwhile. Cutting my hair also has a learning process with unacceptable costs. Basic social dancing: I took the classes, but they didn't stick. Bushcrafting. Haskell. Fixing wiring in a house. Leveling ground. Driving a standard transmission. (I did it once twenty years ago, but presumably I could not do it again without instruction.) Sharpening knives? I use my kitchen knives every day, but the guy at the farmer's market does a perfect job for practically no money. Playing bridge: I don't even know why my brain thinks this is a fundamental skill. I don't know anybody who plays bridge. But, irrationally, it feels like one of the more important things separating me from being James Bond. Ultimately you have to pick a small subset even of the basics, and I have a hard time seeing that big a difference between the realistic approach of learning a few things that are particularly important to you and not learning anything at all outside your profession. Sure, it makes sense to put effort into the things that are important to you. I know plenty about cooking, for example. But I still lack the skills to produce or maintain 97% of the things that are essential for my complicated daily life. Is there a big difference between 99% and 97%? Or even between 97% and 90%? But now I'm thinking about sewing again. Someday....

shoes_for_thee 6y ago

“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.” Robert A. Heinlein

ZephyrBlu 6y ago
I would love to be able to do all those things. However, time is finite and so it's inevitable that you have to sacrifice some things.
- shoes_for_thee 6y ago
  Yeah, I don't know how to change a diaper.

ZephyrBlu 6y ago

> Many people are comparing themselves to the most privileged of backgrounds - where they were at the top from birth and only had to get a bit higher. I'm considered extraordinary in comparison to the place I grew up - just because of my background and where I am now This is why I'm often envious of successful people, especially in the tech world. They just don't seem to get how privileged they were _from birth_.