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There are lots of people reacting to the extraordinary with "inspiration", "disappointment", and "jealousy". I'd say none of these are as useful as reacting wi
by thelean12 6y ago
There are lots of people reacting to the extraordinary with "inspiration", "disappointment", and "jealousy".
I'd say none of these are as useful as reacting with curiosity. There's an endless amount to learn from the extraordinary in any field or sport or hobby. It's easy to write off the extraordinary as naturally talented or lucky or something else surface level. Most of the time it's anything but.
I play golf. It's a game that can be extraordinarily frustrating to beginners. It often takes years of hard work to just be moderately adequate at the game. Going into it with disappointment or jealousy of extraordinary golfers will quickly lead them to quit as they'll be way too stressed out to enjoy the game. Those who go into it with inspiration or admiration of those who are better won't be able to sustain it when the inspiration burns out.
Curiosity is the only emotion I've found that is sustainable. Endless curiosity as you try to figure out and piece together what makes someone good at what they do. It's an emotion that sustains because it's the only emotion that is useful both when you hit a bad shot and when you hit a good shot. It's useful both when you watch someone who is worse than you, and when you watch someone who is better than you.
- tmatthe 6y agoI really like this take. Haven't thought about sustainable emotions much, but this hits the mark.
- sixstringtheory 6y agoTotally agree. When I think about the maxim "it's about the journey, not the destination," I think that curiosity is what keeps you taking that next step, and lets you stay immersed in the journey. Every place you get to along the way, if you find something in sight to explore, sooner or later you'll find yourself far beyond where you started. I don't play golf, but I imagine there are so many minutiae, from driving, choosing which iron to use, putting, stance, hand positions, comparing clubs of the same type from different manufacturers, and same for golf balls. Each has a breadth and depth to explore as you get more and more into that topic. I'm willing to bet the people that rise to the top are the people who love to tinker with all those parameters, not necessarily because they know it will make then X% better, but because they just want to see the effect.
- eslaught 6y agoI agree, and I've thought for a long time that "natural talent" is usually just "natural curiosity" that has been given enough time to grow into something bigger. After all, if you regularly spend your attention focused on something, you'll inevitably become better over time. I think a lot of topics that people consider to be "impenetrable", like programming, science or math, can be tackled with this attitude.
- PaulStatezny 6y agoDisclaimer: I ask this to explore the truth in your comment, not to be pedantic about your choice of terms. > Curiosity is the only emotion I've found that's sustainable. It jumped out at me that curiosity technically isn't an emotion, but might be better labeled a state of mind. So the natural follow-up question for me is: What are some ways to help oneself get in that state of mind? The professor that taught my "logic" class in college would say that feelings and actions come about as a result of _beliefs_. So what kinds of beliefs lead to feeling inspired/disappointed/jealous? And in contrast, what kinds of beliefs tend to lead one to curiosity?
- theloneshark 6y agoVery good question for psychology & neuroscience. We are yet to find why some are born with a state of mind of "why" & "how" while others have to try to learn it(and yet, might not perfect it)
- thelean12 6y agoEmotion, reaction, state of mind, whatever floats your boat. I think I got my point across. As for how to get into the curiosity mindset, and how to push away the other states of mind, I don't have a full answer for you. My personal strategies stem from a somewhat related area of study: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I'm able to push away the negative thoughts like disappointment/jealousy/anger and substitute it with curiosity. I don't necessarily find inspiration or other "positive" states of mind something I need to push away, I'm just aware that it's fleeting.
- theloneshark 6y agoI have a senior who tells me to hire people who are naturally curious(in-spite of any skill shortages). Your explanation is bulls eye to that theory.
- munificent 6y ago> Curiosity is the only emotion I've found that is sustainable. The other one I know is gratitude. When I'm in the right headspace, instead of being intimidated or jealous of the accomplishments of others, I'm grateful that they shared those accomplishments with us all, and that I'm able to learn from them. Half the time when I watch Jacques Pepin, I think that I'll never make an omelet that good. But the other half the time, I'm so thankful that he's shown me how to make mine better than they ever were before.
- benn0 6y agoThis is a really great perspective. As someone who dealt with the external pressures of being 'extraordinary' at a young age, it seems to me that curiosity is one of the easiest things to lose, and hardest to bring back, when your focus is on others' expectations. Somewhat unexpectedly, discovering some parts of Stoic philosophy has definitely helped to rediscover the joy of curiosity that can be found almost anywhere.
- ZephyrBlu 6y agoI think I have a mix of envy and curiosity. I'm envious because often these high achieving people had amazing opportunities, which enabled them to reach the level they're at. I'm curious because of exactly what you said. Unfortunately it seems like the journey people take to achieve these amazing feats is often never documented and everyone only focuses on the outcome. It's quite disappointing because I love to read about how people went from A -> B.