> No one wants to feel like you are looking to make them a load-bearing structure in your psyche. I think you are correct, but I don't think this is exactly wh

> No one wants to feel like you are looking to make them a load-bearing structure in your psyche. I think you are correct, but I don't think this is exactly what kypro is getting at. expecting to gain fulfillment by investing effort in a relationship is not a turn-off to most people. expecting fulfillment from a relationship while putting forth minimal effort is indeed toxic and will repel people. > Potential partners can smell it from a mile away. They may not be consciously aware of it, but they’ll smell it. The personality component of attractiveness for men has a lot to do with already feeling fulfilled in your solo activities. I would generalize this further. people can sense when another person is significantly needier than they are (having or not having fulfilling solo activities is a subset of this). outside of very specific (eg, parent-child) types of relationships, people hate this. > At least, I think this is why I’m single. without knowing much about you, I would guess that you're single for the same reason as most single people who want a relationship: mismatched expectations and/or not meeting and talking to enough new people. timing is very important, and the timing will be wrong for most people you meet.