4 ms·

So basically an article where someone with relationship issues writes off all marriages because obviously we are all only attracted to what is least good for us

So basically an article where someone with relationship issues writes off all marriages because obviously we are all only attracted to what is least good for us. I really don't understand the use of this sort of writing.

mcphage 6y ago
> I really don't understand the use of this sort of writing. I don't think you understood the writing at all, if you think the author wrote off all marriages. The article is in favor of—and in support of—marriage.
- war1025 6y ago
  > I don't think you understood the writing at all. That's probably true. I got married at 23 to a girl I'd known for all of a year and a half, and we've been happily married for eight years now. So whatever perspective this author is coming from is probably by definitions something I'm unfamiliar with.
  - Ancapistani 6y ago
    Married at 21 here - we met at 14 and started "dating" almost immediately. We moved out of our parents' houses and in together and promptly survived the utter destruction of both of our educational plans. We married at 21, had our first daughter at 25 and second at 30. We're 36 today and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. If I had to do it over, I would have proposed in high school and gotten married before heading to college, even if that meant using a Justice of the Peace and upsetting our families. Marriage didn't solve all my problems - but it did put them in perspective.
    - randomsearch 6y ago
      Interesting - and a big outlier in my experience. Question that would make you a non-outlier: are you or your partner very religious?
      - Ancapistani 6y ago
        Good question. I would say "No... but actually yes." I know, not helpful. My wife and I are strong Christians, without question, but in a lot of ways we're not "traditional" Christians. I was raised Catholic but fell away from the Church when it was apparent how difficult it was going to be to have my marriage recognized by them. It just didn't matter enough to me to be worried about it. I'll have to think about this more before really being able to speak on it in detail, but I think "religiosity" in our case is more of correlation than causation.
        randomsearch 6y ago
        I asked because childhood sweethearts don't usually work out - people change too much in their 20s, I think. The exceptions tend to be strongly devout Christians. I'm not sure why, but perhaps it's the support from their church community? There's a certain amount of peer pressure, but also genuine cheerleading going on there. I was brought up Christian and I do think the community side of church-going can be a net positive for many people.
Dirlewanger 6y ago
>I really don't understand the use of this sort of writing. It's aimed at the NYT's audience: rich, white, liberal urbanite milliennials who don't care about starting families and who would rather read crap that feeds their confirmation biases.
- glouwbug 6y ago
  Last I checked, reddits redpill was almost 2 million subscribers big. That is to say, sleeping with as many women as possible while not marrying, or possibly having kids while not marrying and not cohabitating, is subreddit I last checked on reddit with almost 2 million subscribers.

mcphage 6y ago

> I really don't understand the use of this sort of writing. I don't think you understood the writing at all, if you think the author wrote off all marriages. The article is in favor of—and in support of—marriage.

war1025 6y ago
> I don't think you understood the writing at all. That's probably true. I got married at 23 to a girl I'd known for all of a year and a half, and we've been happily married for eight years now. So whatever perspective this author is coming from is probably by definitions something I'm unfamiliar with.
- Ancapistani 6y ago
  Married at 21 here - we met at 14 and started "dating" almost immediately. We moved out of our parents' houses and in together and promptly survived the utter destruction of both of our educational plans. We married at 21, had our first daughter at 25 and second at 30. We're 36 today and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. If I had to do it over, I would have proposed in high school and gotten married before heading to college, even if that meant using a Justice of the Peace and upsetting our families. Marriage didn't solve all my problems - but it did put them in perspective.
  - randomsearch 6y ago
    Interesting - and a big outlier in my experience. Question that would make you a non-outlier: are you or your partner very religious?
    - Ancapistani 6y ago
      Good question. I would say "No... but actually yes." I know, not helpful. My wife and I are strong Christians, without question, but in a lot of ways we're not "traditional" Christians. I was raised Catholic but fell away from the Church when it was apparent how difficult it was going to be to have my marriage recognized by them. It just didn't matter enough to me to be worried about it. I'll have to think about this more before really being able to speak on it in detail, but I think "religiosity" in our case is more of correlation than causation.
      - randomsearch 6y ago
        I asked because childhood sweethearts don't usually work out - people change too much in their 20s, I think. The exceptions tend to be strongly devout Christians. I'm not sure why, but perhaps it's the support from their church community? There's a certain amount of peer pressure, but also genuine cheerleading going on there. I was brought up Christian and I do think the community side of church-going can be a net positive for many people.

Dirlewanger 6y ago

>I really don't understand the use of this sort of writing. It's aimed at the NYT's audience: rich, white, liberal urbanite milliennials who don't care about starting families and who would rather read crap that feeds their confirmation biases.

glouwbug 6y ago
Last I checked, reddits redpill was almost 2 million subscribers big. That is to say, sleeping with as many women as possible while not marrying, or possibly having kids while not marrying and not cohabitating, is subreddit I last checked on reddit with almost 2 million subscribers.