3 ms·

I tend to agree. I was an incel for quite significant parts of my life. Probably due to some autistic traits I never understood how the whole dating thing worke

I tend to agree. I was an incel for quite significant parts of my life. Probably due to some autistic traits I never understood how the whole dating thing worked. Thank god things have improved for myself but this is something you basically can't admit in public without being ridiculed. I remember the time when "introvert" was also something to be ashamed of. I really wish society had more sympathy for people who don't fit in socially. With all the progress we are tying make not demeaning people for their race or sexuality it still seems OK to bash socially awkward people.

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
Jetrel 6y ago
To interject with something that's hopefully an insight: I think the reason most people punish other people for social awkwardness is because - in their eyes, it falls on the foul side of Hanlon's Razor. I.e. they think that someone is being socially awkward to deliberately make people feel unpleasant, rather than being awkward because it's something they just can't help. It seems to span the full spread of social awkwardness - all the way from just being weird, down to being a jerk. I've seen people who are jerks not because they want to be, but because they can't help but run their mouth when they're in the wrong emotional state. I've also had at least one friend who'd frequently do really rude things like suddenly walking away mid-conversation, and it wasn't because he wanted to insult us, but it was because his ADHD was redlining so badly that he had to seek any other available stimulation, even if there wasn't any available. At this point, I'm honestly convinced most human malfeasance is just manifestations of various mental illnesses, and I really wish we'd approach it with a therapeutic, rather than punitive, approach. We might actually fix things, if we did.

3 ms·

I tend to agree. I was an incel for quite significant parts of my life. Probably due to some autistic traits I never understood how the whole dating thing worke

by spaetzleesser 6y ago

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]
Jetrel 6y ago
To interject with something that's hopefully an insight: I think the reason most people punish other people for social awkwardness is because - in their eyes, it falls on the foul side of Hanlon's Razor. I.e. they think that someone is being socially awkward to deliberately make people feel unpleasant, rather than being awkward because it's something they just can't help. It seems to span the full spread of social awkwardness - all the way from just being weird, down to being a jerk. I've seen people who are jerks not because they want to be, but because they can't help but run their mouth when they're in the wrong emotional state. I've also had at least one friend who'd frequently do really rude things like suddenly walking away mid-conversation, and it wasn't because he wanted to insult us, but it was because his ADHD was redlining so badly that he had to seek any other available stimulation, even if there wasn't any available. At this point, I'm honestly convinced most human malfeasance is just manifestations of various mental illnesses, and I really wish we'd approach it with a therapeutic, rather than punitive, approach. We might actually fix things, if we did.