4 ms·

If you wanted a support group now as an involuntarily celibate person, what would you do?

by DangitBobby 6y ago

notahacker 6y ago
Probably call it 'singles club'...
- guskel 6y ago
  But surely being single is different than lifelong singleness and lack of intimacy. In fact many singles continue to date and have sex.
  - notahacker 6y ago
    > In fact many singles continue to date and have sex. Sounds like the sort of people that those who are worried about their lifelong lack of intimacy should be meeting!
    - DangitBobby 6y ago
      They were doing that!
philwelch 6y ago
IMO, just go sort yourself out and find a "support group" focused on whatever axis of self-improvement you're interested in. If you're involuntarily celibate because you're too fat or too scrawny to be physically attractive, get that problem sorted out and get into a community of people focused on bettering themselves in that way. If you're involuntarily celibate because you're unemployed or don't make much money, go develop some marketable skills and get into a community of people focused on developing those skills. If you're involuntarily celibate because you have terrible social skills, maybe try group therapy?
- at_a_remove 6y ago
  Almost any form of advice which begins with "just" is usually trying to wave away real problems. Go on, try it. Instead of "build a rocketship to go to the moon," do "Just build a rocketship to go to the moon." Sounds a lot easier that way, doesn't it? But all of the self-improvement stuff doesn't help if you, say, have Goldenhar Syndrome, or a major handicap, or perhaps you have some very unfortunate facial features, or you have to care for an elderly parent, or any number of things. It isn't always as simple as "people who haven't been trying hard enough."
  - philwelch 6y ago
    OK, fine. Just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, then. That’s the easy way out. It won’t improve things any, but improving things sounds hard and you might not succeed at it so why bother trying?
    - H_Pylori 6y ago
      Your lack of life experience is showing. Some people who are born in unfortunate situations need heroic amount of efforts just to "make it", and it's not like in the movies where there's always a happy ending. Sometimes you just lose, nature doesn't care. If you are 5 feet tall man with a face that only a mother could love your dating options will be extremely limited. Yes you can "improve" your situation by massive amount of efforts, but it's not realistic for the vast majority of people.

If you wanted a support group now as an involuntarily celibate person, what would you do?

notahacker 6y ago

Probably call it 'singles club'...

guskel 6y ago
But surely being single is different than lifelong singleness and lack of intimacy. In fact many singles continue to date and have sex.
- notahacker 6y ago
  > In fact many singles continue to date and have sex. Sounds like the sort of people that those who are worried about their lifelong lack of intimacy should be meeting!
  - DangitBobby 6y ago
    They were doing that!

philwelch 6y ago

IMO, just go sort yourself out and find a "support group" focused on whatever axis of self-improvement you're interested in. If you're involuntarily celibate because you're too fat or too scrawny to be physically attractive, get that problem sorted out and get into a community of people focused on bettering themselves in that way. If you're involuntarily celibate because you're unemployed or don't make much money, go develop some marketable skills and get into a community of people focused on developing those skills. If you're involuntarily celibate because you have terrible social skills, maybe try group therapy?

at_a_remove 6y ago
Almost any form of advice which begins with "just" is usually trying to wave away real problems. Go on, try it. Instead of "build a rocketship to go to the moon," do "Just build a rocketship to go to the moon." Sounds a lot easier that way, doesn't it? But all of the self-improvement stuff doesn't help if you, say, have Goldenhar Syndrome, or a major handicap, or perhaps you have some very unfortunate facial features, or you have to care for an elderly parent, or any number of things. It isn't always as simple as "people who haven't been trying hard enough."
- philwelch 6y ago
  OK, fine. Just sit around feeling sorry for yourself, then. That’s the easy way out. It won’t improve things any, but improving things sounds hard and you might not succeed at it so why bother trying?
  - H_Pylori 6y ago
    Your lack of life experience is showing. Some people who are born in unfortunate situations need heroic amount of efforts just to "make it", and it's not like in the movies where there's always a happy ending. Sometimes you just lose, nature doesn't care. If you are 5 feet tall man with a face that only a mother could love your dating options will be extremely limited. Yes you can "improve" your situation by massive amount of efforts, but it's not realistic for the vast majority of people.