You cannot deploy a PHP app by just plopping a file on an unconfigured server. Deployment is not that simple. Or, if it is, then you have to allow me the same

You cannot deploy a PHP app by just plopping a file on an unconfigured server. Deployment is not that simple. Or, if it is, then you have to allow me the same grace of just being able to plop my Go or Rust binary on that server and have it magically work. It might even work BETTER because I don't need to check if my php.ini matches my dev machine.