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I had a girlfriend in high school that learned about feminism, and developed an annoying habit of playing "gotcha" with anything that could be spun as chauvinis
by hirundo 6y ago
I had a girlfriend in high school that learned about feminism, and developed an annoying habit of playing "gotcha" with anything that could be spun as chauvinist. For instance anyone saying "C'mon you guys let's go eat" would get a lecture about how using the word "guys" to a mixed sex group was being oppressive. She didn't say "patriarchal" only because that word wasn't in currency yet. Years later her gotcha shtick became her profession as a college professor who taught it to a new generation, year after year.
I think the events at those meetings are more about the joy of the gotcha than anti-racism versus non-racism. It just feels good to catch someone out, to be the one who sees it first. Like most pleasures it has addictive power.
It wasn't because the anti-racists were actually racists that they were triggered by a white man bouncing a black baby on his lap. It was because they were scanning desperately for a gotcha to feed their habit. For a target that you disagree with, a behavior has a much lower threshold to become a gotcha. If it wasn't for the baby it could have been his supercilious smile or hair style.
In modern anti-racism, not only does a gotcha not need to be justified with argument, any criticism of the gotcha is another gotcha. What I have written here is just more evidence of my own racism and sexism. They've got me.
- ardy42 6y ago> I think the events at those meetings are more about the joy of the gotcha than anti-racism versus non-racism. It just feels good to catch someone out, to be the one who sees it first. Like most pleasures it has addictive power. I think there's a term for that feeling: self-righteousness.
- bbatha 6y agoCriticizing "you guys" as a sexist term when describing a mixed gender group is a) true because there are multiple genders in the group and b) not a gotcha. She wasn't baiting you into saying sexist remarks to criticize you as a chauvinist. Her over enthusiasm may have been annoying sure, but calling it "gotcha" behavior is a way to casually dismiss anti-racists and anti-sexists without actually in their engaging arguments or even the slightest bit of self reflection. > In modern anti-racism, not only does a gotcha not need to be justified with argument, > would get a lecture about how using the word "guys" to a mixed sex group was being oppressive. Sounds like you received a justified argument that you are choosing to ignore.
- hirundo 6y agoI ignored the argument because I could not have reasonably engaged with it and decided that I disagree?
- harryh 6y agoDo you think if people consistently referred to a group of people that included you as "hey girls" you would find it....a bit strange?
- hirundo 6y agoI think policing wrongthink in everyday conversation is about as effective as painting the correct reflection on a mirror. Real respect is earned.
- harryh 6y agoSo when you refer to a group of mix gendered people as "guys", it's an indication that you don't respect the women in the group? They haven't earned if from you yet?
- hirundo 6y agoI think the reference is orthagonal to respect, making the correction merely rude.
- harryh 6y agoWell that brings me back to my original question (which you did not answer). Do you think if people consistently referred to a group of people that included you as "hey girls" you would find it....a bit strange?
- hirundo 6y agoIt's quite ordinary. Particularly in all male contexts where it isn't ambiguous, like construction or sports. Also "ladies". Metonymy is weird like that.
- readthenotes 6y agoWhen I was six, I moved from Minnesota to Tennessee. At one point soon after, I was walking with my brothers and female cousins and said "hey you guys...", which was a common form if addressing multiple people in Minnesota. One if my cousins, who had probably never heard that idiom before, replied "We're not guys". Afterwards, I switched to the common southern idiom of "y'all".