perhaps OP has aphantasia? Seems fairly common among engineers (and even some artists) -- https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2019/apr/10/aphanta

perhaps OP has aphantasia? Seems fairly common among engineers (and even some artists) -- https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2019/apr/10/aphantasia-why-a-disney-animator-draws-a-blank-on-his-own-creations https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/shortcuts/2019/apr/...