4 ms·

While I 100% agree with the intent of the HN guideline, there are times when calling out crazy as crazy is fully warranted. I believe this is one of those cases

While I 100% agree with the intent of the HN guideline, there are times when calling out crazy as crazy is fully warranted. I believe this is one of those cases. I don’t believe parent comment was a “shallow dismissal”, it was an accurate and “deep” dismissal.

dang 6y ago
"I honestly couldn't get past the" is an internet trope. "The author has issues" is true of everybody. "Neurotic" is calling names in this context [1]. It seems like a shallow dismissal to me. There's another guideline which applies here too: "Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith." Posts about parenting may be the most emotionally triggering of all categories that come up on HN. As readers, we're all responsible for containing the reflexive reactions that come up in us when encountering something intense, and instead of rushing to the comments to dismiss or attack it, waiting awhile until something more reflective emerges, in which case an interesting comment may result. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sort=byDate&type=comment&query=reflective%20reflex%20by:dang https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor... [1] So is "crazy" for that matter. That's an extreme thing to say, and I'm sure you don't really mean it.
- monkeywork 6y ago
  Are you a moderator here Dang? If not how about you simply report and move on ... looking at your posting history a very large percentage of it is you trying to tell others how to use the site. The rules are fine however let those who are charged with enforcing them do so rather than trying to control others.
  - dang 6y ago
    Yes, and lord I can't imagine what a dreadful scold those comments would make me if it weren't my job to post them. Sorry for the confusion. We considered putting 'mod' tags beside our usernames but it just felt wrong, so as with most things about HN, people have to figure it out as they go, and it's always ok to ask questions.
  - gammarator 6y ago
    Yes, dang is a (the?) moderator. https://blog.ycombinator.com/meet-the-people-taking-over-hacker-news/ https://blog.ycombinator.com/meet-the-people-taking-over-hac...
danShumway 6y ago
Purely from my own perspective, if this is deep then I'd like to see a 'deeper' dismissal in that case. I read the first 4 paragraphs, and I didn't see anything that warranted the word 'crazy'. Developmental problems? Maybe, although I'd honestly like to see some stronger evidence from people claiming that. Non-typical learning styles? Maybe? But we're talking about a 5 year old, temper tantrums are completely normal. A lot of commenters here arguing fiercely that there's something deeply wrong with a toddler who's used to being in a physical space with physical people within a specialized environment, having a different reaction to being sat in front of a static screen for an extended period of time in a home setting. A lot of commenters dismissing the idea that virtual meetings might be more draining or difficult for some people, which seems very... I'm surprised to see that attitude on HN of all places, we should know better than anyone that different people deal with isolation and physical proximity in different ways. If the original poster can point to specific language that makes them think something is wrong with the parent or child, then they should point to that language. I think it's inappropriate and shallow to throw around labels like 'crazy' just because a child is misbehaving.

dang 6y ago

"I honestly couldn't get past the" is an internet trope. "The author has issues" is true of everybody. "Neurotic" is calling names in this context [1]. It seems like a shallow dismissal to me. There's another guideline which applies here too: "Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith." Posts about parenting may be the most emotionally triggering of all categories that come up on HN. As readers, we're all responsible for containing the reflexive reactions that come up in us when encountering something intense, and instead of rushing to the comments to dismiss or attack it, waiting awhile until something more reflective emerges, in which case an interesting comment may result. https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sort=byDate&type=comment&query=reflective%20reflex%20by:dang https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=true&sor... [1] So is "crazy" for that matter. That's an extreme thing to say, and I'm sure you don't really mean it.

monkeywork 6y ago
Are you a moderator here Dang? If not how about you simply report and move on ... looking at your posting history a very large percentage of it is you trying to tell others how to use the site. The rules are fine however let those who are charged with enforcing them do so rather than trying to control others.
- dang 6y ago
  Yes, and lord I can't imagine what a dreadful scold those comments would make me if it weren't my job to post them. Sorry for the confusion. We considered putting 'mod' tags beside our usernames but it just felt wrong, so as with most things about HN, people have to figure it out as they go, and it's always ok to ask questions.
- gammarator 6y ago
  Yes, dang is a (the?) moderator. https://blog.ycombinator.com/meet-the-people-taking-over-hacker-news/ https://blog.ycombinator.com/meet-the-people-taking-over-hac...

danShumway 6y ago

Purely from my own perspective, if this is deep then I'd like to see a 'deeper' dismissal in that case. I read the first 4 paragraphs, and I didn't see anything that warranted the word 'crazy'. Developmental problems? Maybe, although I'd honestly like to see some stronger evidence from people claiming that. Non-typical learning styles? Maybe? But we're talking about a 5 year old, temper tantrums are completely normal. A lot of commenters here arguing fiercely that there's something deeply wrong with a toddler who's used to being in a physical space with physical people within a specialized environment, having a different reaction to being sat in front of a static screen for an extended period of time in a home setting. A lot of commenters dismissing the idea that virtual meetings might be more draining or difficult for some people, which seems very... I'm surprised to see that attitude on HN of all places, we should know better than anyone that different people deal with isolation and physical proximity in different ways. If the original poster can point to specific language that makes them think something is wrong with the parent or child, then they should point to that language. I think it's inappropriate and shallow to throw around labels like 'crazy' just because a child is misbehaving.