The psychological aspect of this reminded me of when my depression hit and I responded so differently emotionally to everything and felt like (and was) a comple

The psychological aspect of this reminded me of when my depression hit and I responded so differently emotionally to everything and felt like (and was) a completely different person. Habits and rituals that used to be nothing pleasure for my past self, things that I did to reward yourself for a good job done were painful and tedious to my present self. The depression was one thing, but suddenly being a different person when you thought you knew yourself, and wondering if you should learn to live as this new, damaged person with its different emotional attitudes to everything (that I didn't trust were sustainable) or act like your old self working toward your old self's goals trusting in the wisdom of the person you once were---that was a different dilemma I didn't know I had to make, that nobody understood.