To my understanding, the only thing that can safely protect you is to wear a Pirate hat and Eye patch at all times. Consuming copious amounts of Rum may or may

To my understanding, the only thing that can safely protect you is to wear a Pirate hat and Eye patch at all times. Consuming copious amounts of Rum may or may not work, as the only people that recommend this strategy are generally drunk - so this information is unreliable at best. Hopefully on September 19th* we can co-ordinate a proper defense to take out this imminent threat *September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day